


Under The Waves

by Somethingaboutmisha



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abduction, Crazy brothers, Flashbacks of Rape, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Minor Character Death, Past Abuse, Past self injury, Shooting, Suicide Attempt, self injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-28
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2017-12-27 21:37:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 27,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/983895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Somethingaboutmisha/pseuds/Somethingaboutmisha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is a History teacher in somewheresville USA. Cas is a replacement Teacher for an English teacher. They both have demons and they get the chance to work through them, with each other's love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dean Winchester woke up early that morning, still tired. His alarm clock reads 5:15 am. He figures it’s early enough to get up, even though he had only gotten to sleep 2 hours before.   
He gets out of bed, still in yesterdays clothes. He rarely sleeps these days anyway, so what’s the point in getting changed? He’d just have to change again when it was time to get ready for work. He takes the blanket he had shoved around the window, out. Turning on the light he takes a quick look around his bed room. He breathes a sigh of relief when nothing seems out of the ordinary. 

Grabbing a green sweater, white collared shirt and charcoal slacks, he pads, barefoot, to the bathroom. He turns the light on before entering the room. Ever since he got back he hasn’t been able to enter a dark room. Not without panicking. He’s not afraid of the dark, he’s a grown ass man for fuck sakes. He just gets anxious. Hence the lack of sleeping. That and the dreams.

He checks the shower and turns on the water. Stripping out of yesterdays clothes, he gets in, letting the hot water rinse away the sweat and fear of last night’s nightmare. It was the same nightmare he always had. He was back in that room, it was black and he could hear Sammy, screaming and calling out for Dean. Every time Dean pounded on the wall and scream for Sam, Sam’s voice would be coming from another side of the wall. Finally, the door would open where a man stood, he walked into the room slowly and laughed under his breath. That’s where Dean always woke up.

After washing and getting dressed, he walks out to the threadbare couch and flops down. He turns the TV on and braces for the sound. As long as he knew it was coming, he’s fine. The clock on the News station says 5:30, he still has 2 hours before he has to leave for work. 

The furniture in the small apartment was old and worn. He had mostly gotten it second hand and he hadn’t really cared how it looked, he just wanted to get it in so he could have it. Most of his money that he didn’t spend on clothes for work (sleeping in your clothes wears them out faster than normal.) and necessities, he spent on parts for his baby. His eyes close as he listens to the reporter tell him how bad the traffic is this morning.  
His eyes snap open and he glances at the time on the TV. 7:15. He had to be at work for 8. Heaving himself off the couch, he stretches and grabs his bag and coat from off the small table in the kitchen area of his apartment, grabbing his keys off the table where they had come to rest under his coat. He pulls his boots on and hurries out the door. Quickly he shoves the key in the lock of the door and turns it, he then tries the door to make sure it actually locked, because sometimes it doesn’t.   
He walks heavily down the 2 flights of stairs until the door to the outside. He wraps his coat around himself tighter as he pushes out into the unseasonably cold September air. Keeping his head down he shuffles over to his car. His piece of shit, fucking car. He needed a new one, and bad, but he was working on that, so the ’03 Corolla would have to do until then.

“C’mon you fucking thing!” he sighs angrily as the car protests to the key turning. On the second try the car finally relents and starts. Pulling out of the driveway, he pops in a cassette tape. His car came with a CD player, but he’s old school, and why would he replace all of his tapes with CDs when he could just go to Bobby’s scrap yard, yank a tape deck out of a junker and install it himself? 

He pulled into the school parking lot and parked his car. He sat in it for a few minutes, trying to muster together all the willpower to go in and face not only the students, but the faculty as well. The students were better than his co-workers, at least they didn’t care what he did outside of school, but the other teachers were constantly trying to involve him in things. Things like putting together a history club or some shit like that. It’s not that he didn’t enjoy being around people, it’s just that he really wasn’t reliable to not have a panic attack, and he knew that, he just didn’t want everyone else to know that. 

He grabbed his bag and headed into the school. Lisa, the secretary, looked up and smiled at him. Dean smiled back and kept on walking to his classroom. He unlocked the door, flipped on the lights, and sat down at his computer.   
“Hey Dean!” exclaimed an all too chipper voice at his door.

“Hey Garth” Dean replied. Garth taught Math in the room across the hall. The smaller man wasn’t typical teacher, he was dressed in a blue flannel button down and dark blue pants, and had a reputation for sending students out on coffee runs to the coffee chain next door to the school. For every coffee run a student did, it was an extra bonus point on their next test, and Garth kept count.   
“Did you hear?! they finally forced out Zachariah!” 

“Really? Chuck finally forced him out?” Dean said, trying to look interested, when in fact, he couldn’t give two shits as to who did and didn’t work here.  
“Yeah! The new guy starts today! I guess it got so bad when they told Zach that he had to take early retirement that he just up and quit without finishing the year!”  
“Hmmm I see” Dean said, staring at the screen of the aging computer.

Garth finally took the hint that Dean didn’t want to talk and turned towards the door. “I met the new guy, he seems quiet, like you. I think you guys would probably get along.”   
Dean looked at him and smiled, he really doubted that. “Thanks Garth, I’ll be sure to try and meet him at some point today.” He really had no intention on meeting this new teacher.  
The bell rang to signal the beginning of class and Garth took off with a wink, “Time to find me a brat to get me some coffee, you want anything?”  
“No” Dean answered, coffee always made him jumpy, and he really shouldn’t be jumpy with his lack of sleep and the dreams he had last night, “thanks anyway.”  
“By the way I have been meaning to ask, Do you really need this sign on your door? The ‘No text tones’ sign?” Garth asked, seemingly genuinely curious.  
“Yeah, I do. I really don’t care if they text during my class, as long as it’s on silent, or on vibrate.” He had figured that out the hard way when he was walking to his apartment door, his neighbour had gotten a text and the sound had given Dean a panic attack.

Garth left as Dean’s first period students filled in, talking loudly and throwing things at each other. Dean sat at his desk and did attendance as they came in. That was one of the things he liked about working where he did, there was only about five hundred students so he knew everyone pretty well, seeing as only two other teachers taught History/Social Studies.   
Once the majority of the students were in the classroom, he got up from his chair, sighing to himself.   
“Alright you guys! Settle down and get in your right seats! Jason, I know I did not seat you next to Lila, get back to your seat bud.” The dark haired boy glared at Dean as he stalked back to his assigned seat. Obviously not too happy with his history teacher for making him leave his girlfriend.

“Open your textbooks to page 56, we’re starting on ancient Greece today.”  
A dull groan mixed with pages rustling reverberated through the class.  
“Now, can anyone give me the name of any Grecian god? Yes Evan?”  
“Apollo?”

“Yep, Do you know what he was the god-“ Dean was stopped mid sentence by a shrill musical tone, immediately he was back in Afghanistan, panic rushed over him like waves on a beach. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t see, he couldn’t think. All he could think about was getting to Sammy and getting him away from the men who were torturing him. He sat down in the chair at his desk and tried to calm his breathing the way that idiot of a therapist had shown him after he was released from the hospital. In through the nose...hold five seconds....out through the mouth... In through the nose...hold five seconds...out through the mouth...  
“Mr. Winchester? Are you ok?” One of the students asked him.  
“No, I’m not, someone go get Mr...” The world went black.

When he came to, he was laying on the floor, staring at the face of a man he didn’t recognize. He was slight, with shocking blue eyes and messy black hair. He wore a suit and hadn’t realized that he had put his tie on backwards this morning. He was an angel. Dean was sure of it.


	2. Chapter 2

Cas walked into the school to strange looks from students and faculty alike. He kept his head down as he made his way down the hallway to his new classroom. Flipping the lights on he sighed, taking over for another teacher would not be easy. Making his way to the desk he dropped his shoulder bag on the linoleum floor with a thud, the desk was a mess and he had no idea where to start sorting all the papers into where they needed to be. He half thought about just saying fuck it and scrapping the previous teachers notes and re doing them all tonight. It’s not like he has anything else to do tonight.

For his first day at this new job, he was thankful people had left him alone for the most part. He had had to go see Chuck, the principal, before heading up to his room, but that wasn’t so bad. The man had obviously noticed his nervousness and barely said hello to him before shoving papers across the desk for him to sign. 

His mind was back home. With his brothers, Gabe and Luc...and...him. Michael had been the reason he had to leave his hometown. The entire town loved Michael, even after they had found out about what he had done to Castiel. His little brother. His FUCKING LITTLE BROTHER. Even though Michael had gone to prison for what he had done, the town had still stuck by his abuser, saying that Cas had made it all up. They had even had to move the trial to a different county because they couldn’t find enough impartial people for a jury. 

“Hey man! You must be the new guy! Nice to meet you! I’m Garth Fitzgerald IV. I teach math next to you.” A slight walked in and leaned on the door jam.   
“Nice to meet you, Mr. Fitzgerald, I’m Castiel Novak.” Cas said, putting a convincing smile on his face.  
“Has anyone offered to show you around yet? I could get Dean Winchester, the guy next to me to go with us. He’s a pretty cool guy, ex-military.”  
“No, no one has offered, that would be nice, thank you” Cas said, once again with the false smile he had used in so many different circumstances.  
“Awesome, I’ll come find you at lunch and we’ll inform Dean he’s coming with us. That’s the only way you can get the man to go anywhere besides his class or his place.” Garth said with a sad smile, “I think something happened over there. Kinda messed him up... granted I didn’t know him before. The guy could have always been a loner”, and with that, Garth leaves the room.

Cas really did want someone to show him around, maybe this way he could have a fresh start, and maybe make a friend or two, but he didn’t want to be a burden. He’d felt like one for the majority of his life.  
His parents had died when he was young, and he had always remembered living with his brothers. Michael was the oldest, being about 18 when his parents had been in their car crash. Lucifer, or Luc, was the next at 16 at the time of the crash, and Gabe had been 13. Cas had only been 6. He lived with them until he finally told about the abuse, when he was 15. The state had taken him out of the home and when neither Gabe nor Luc could afford to take him in, he had been put in foster care until his 18th birthday. He had worked his ASS off putting himself through school, lots of nights until 6am cramming for some midterm after working a shift until 2.  
He hadn’t expected this job in the least. Having applied on a whim and telling himself he wouldn’t even get an interview, let alone the position. So when they had called the Friday saying they needed someone on Monday and if he could have a lesson plan done up, he had nearly died. 

The bell rings and his first class starts to trickle in. Grade 12 English. At least they knew more than the grade nines he had next. He shudders at the thought. The students are taken aback by the strange man sitting at Mr. Adler’s desk, but they are too nervous to come over and ask who he was exactly. They sit down as Cas stands up. 

“My name is Mr. Novak, and I will be replacing Mr. Adler for the rest of the year,” he mumbles, writing his name on the whiteboard, “I understand you have just started Macbeth?” The class nods as a positive answer to his question.  
A blonde haired girl comes bursting into the room, eyes full of fear.  
“Can I help you?” Cas asks,  
“Mr. Winchester is having a panic attack and Mr. Fitzgerald has taken his class somewhere! I need help!”  
“Stay here and don’t get into trouble.” he instructs the class, trying to seem calm even though his heart was beating out of his chest. After everything Michael had put him though, he knew how to handle a panic attack, even if the dealing with one might give him one in return.

Hurrying into the classroom kitty corner to his own, he sees a man with short brown hair, sitting on the floor next to the desk. As he approaches him, he crouches down next to him.  
“Hey...you ok?” he asks the man, who must be Dean.  
Dean just stared at him.  
“Just breathe through it, I’ve been there, you’ll be fine.” he whispered.  
The man on the floor breathed deeper and slower until Cas could feel Dean’s heart rate slow down to a normal level. Cas could tell the other man had had a rough night. The stockier man’s eyes were bloodshot and they had huge dark circles under them. He turned to the girl who had come to get him,  
“Go get Mr. Shurley, and ask him to watch my class.” The girl hurries off towards the door. 

Cas turns his attention back to Dean, who has all but calmed down completely. Cas smiles and leads him to the door. Cas was surprised by how well he was functioning under the pressure of an other person’s panic attack, he knows how to deal with his own, but helping someone else out of the white hot fear and anxiety of it is an other matter all together. 

“What an introduction” Dean says with snark that could either be sarcasm, or embarrassment. Cas was going with embarrassment.  
“Hey, its not that big of a deal,” Cas says, trying to make the other man feel less like a fool. “Honestly, we all get them.”  
“I just wish...fuck, I don’t know what I wish” Dean says, looking at his shoes.  
“Dean? Are you ok? I heard what happened, Jo came and got me.” The principal asked concerned as he walked toward them.  
“Yeah... I guess I’m better now, Chuck, It was a long night last night.”  
“Well, you better head home, I’ll call a sub in for today and tomorrow for you.”  
“Can you call a sub for me as well please Mr. Shurley? I wouldn’t be able to teach knowing that my colleague was at home possibly rocking back and forth in a corner.” Cas says as Dean blushes, embarrassed, at the last part of the statement.  
“You don’t need to do that...” Dean says quietly.

“Yes of course Mr. Novak, you handled yourself very well with the situation. Please make sure Dean gets home safely. I will handle your classes before the substitutes come in.”  
“Thank you Sir.” Cas turns to Dean, “I know I don’t need to do that, but I’m invested in you now.” Or he just wanted to see what this Brown haired, freckle faced, bow legged, ex-military history teacher was all about. He had known for a while that he was gay, but actually seeing his ideal man standing before him, all broken, made him exhilarated, nervous, and honestly, terrified. But he wanted to know more.  
Cas leads the way to the parking lot where he had parked this morning, his old, beat up black Jetta was sitting just where he had left it. Opening the passengers side door with the key (the car was too old for power locks), Dean Winchester gets in Castiel Novak’s car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter can bite me.  
> Cas is hard to write.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here there be porns

Dean followed Cas out to his car, and let him open the door. He slid into the seat and covered his face with his hands. He had always assumed he was straight. So why did he feel the same way he did when looking at a hot chick, when he looked at this guy? Hell, he even felt it more so! This was fucking confusing him and the last thing he needed after that embarrassing display in his class. Especially when the guy, who made him all hot and bothered after knowing him for all of fucking thirty seconds, was apparently coming to his place. 

Cas gets in the drivers side and turns the key, shifting the car from neutral to reverse and backs out of the parking space. 

“My name’s Castiel by the way.” Cas says, “most people call me Cas. And when I said I’d been there, I really had. I wasn’t bullshitting you.” 

“Hmmm” Dean replies, not looking at Cas. If he had, Cas would have noticed the tears welling up in his eyes. He had gone to a bad place today, the place where Sammy had been taken from him, and it was now hitting him.  
“Turn right, here.” He said instead of continuing the conversation Cas had started. The other man put his signal on and rounded the corner.  
“You know, Garth told me you’re ex-military...” Cas said hopefully.

“Garth really doesn’t know shit, to be frank.” Dean snapped back. “Turn left at the next intersection and it’s the first building on the right hand side.” He REALLY didn’t want to have this conversation with a guy he had just met, even if he was sexy as hell. 

Cas pulls the car into an empty spot and pulls the emergency brake before shutting off the Jetta. Dean sighs as he grabs his keys out of his coat pocket and steps out of the car, Cas right behind him. He really did want someone there with him, but he couldn’t allow his hardened exterior to crumble. He hears Cas’s soft footsteps behind his heavy ones on the stairs. He fumbles with the keys with shaking hands as he reaches his apartment, opening the door slowly and walking in.  
He throws his bag, coat, and keys on the table where he picked them up this morning and turns to Cas.

“I don’t care how long you are here, I just really need you to not get any fucking texts while you are.”

“I don’t even have a cell phone Dean, no one would text me anyway.” Cas says softly as he takes his trench coat off.

Dean was taken aback by the self deprecating statement. “I’m sure that’s not true buddy. Cut the crap and just...no sudden noises.”

Cas nods and looks around the kitchen area. It’s small with only a stove, a fridge and the table that dean had put his stuff on. Dean once again flops down on the threadbare couch, resting his head on his hands.  
“I’d give you the grand tour, but it’s all visible from here. Kitchen which you are in, living room which I am in, and you would be in too if you took two steps forward. Bedroom, and Bathroom.” he points to two doors to his left. He hears Cas kick his shoes off and the other end of the couch sag as Cas sits down, cross-legged.

“Whatever, it’s not like my apartment is the Ritz.” Cas says, trying to make Dean crack a smile.

Dean looks up, and at Cas. “Dude, haven’t you heard that self deprecation does nothing for a person?” He really didn’t mean to be that snarky, and judging by the look on Cas’s face after he heard that comment, he had taken it too far.  
“Hey man, I’m sorry...rough day... obviously, and rough night. I don’t really sleep all that much anymore.” He figured if maybe he could open up a bit to Cas, Cas wouldn’t end up hating him. Like the majority of people he meets. Dean’s a good looking guy, he knows that, but his attitude ever since he got out of the hospital has been down the shitter. Most people don’t enjoy making plans, only to have him bail on them because he just can’t leave his apartment,  
“It-It’s fine Dean” Cas mumbles back. 

“You can’t be comfortable in that suit, I have clothes you can change into...if you want... they may be a little big on you though.” Dean says, with faux cheer, “I’m going to get changed. I can bring you whatever you need.” 

I’d actually really appreciate a tee shirt.” Cas says with a shy smile.

“Coming right up.” 

Dean goes to his room and shuts the door, strips off the slacks and sweater he wore for all of the half hour he was at work, throws on his comfy old Zep tee shirt and a pair of sweats. Not the most attractive, but he didn’t really care...he really did care, he wanted to make a better second impression than a first... but he didn’t know how to impress a guy. He also grabs a random tee shirt out of his drawer for Cas. 

Walking out to the living room, he throws the tee at Cas who catches it and proceeds to strip off his shirt right there. His chest was slim, but muscular and his arms were long, lean and strong looking. Dean wondered what it would feel like to take hold of those arms, pull Cas into him and kiss him. Then he saw the tattoo on the back of Cas’s shoulder. 10/16/97. 

“What’s 10/16/97 mean?” He asked, trying to hide his semi- erection.

“It’s the day my life got better. The day my brother was sentenced.” Cas murmurs. 

“You’re brother? You’re happy your brother is in prison? Wow Cas... that’s...” 

“Yes, My parents died when I was young. My oldest brother was supposed to be the caretaker of my two other brothers, and myself. Only he took advantage of his situation. He abused me sexually for eleven years. I couldn’t wait to see him locked up.”

Dean was stunned by the openness at which Cas spoke about his abuse. He couldn’t imagine the pain that this man had felt at the hands of his own brother. He couldn’t imagine something like that happening to his own brother. It would break him, not only Sammy.

“Holy Shit Cas!” he exclaims, moving closer to the man subconsciously, “I have a brother and I can’t imagine...”

“It’s pretty shitty. considering how the town I grew up in believes I made it all up.” 

Dean couldn’t take it anymore. He pulled the other man to him and slammed his lips against Castiel’s. Cas made a little squeak of shock in the back of his throat, but once he smelled Dean’s smell, he relaxed, opening his mouth and tasting the other man’s tongue. 

Dean’s hands found their way around Cas’s back and he kept them there, his fingers pressing into the strong muscle of the other man’s back. He was worried that Cas would pull away, but he relaxed as he felt long, strong fingers in his hair.  
Their tongues fought for dominance, until Cas pulled away and started kissing and sucking at Dean’s neck. Dean shivered as Cas’s tongue hit the spot right beside his Adam’s apple that was sensitive. Cas started to finger at the hem of Dean’s shirt, prompting him to remove it. As soon as he was bare-chested, Cas popped one of his nipples into his mouth, tongue swirling around the ever hardening bud. Dean moaned with pleasure. 

“Holy fuck Cas! You-you’re gonna make me c-ome right here!” Dean moaned as he ran his fingernails underneath the shirt Cas was wearing.

“You can’t” Cas said, pulling off Dean’s nipple with a pop. “I won’t let you.” Cas said, winking. 

Cas dropped off the couch to his knees and ran his finger along the waist of the sweats Dean was wearing, biting the side of his lip and looking up with wide, blue eyes. Seemingly asking for permission. Dean looked down at him and nodded, his emerald eyes pleading for more. Hooking his thumbs into the waistband of the sweats and boxers, Cas pulls them down to Dean’s mid thigh, freeing Dean’s erection. Dean felt hot breath on his cock, even just Cas’s breath almost made him come. Cas kitten licked from the base of Dean’s cock to the tip before taking the tip into his mouth, swirling his tongue and licking the slit before popping off to lick up the vein on the underside. Dean groaned as Cas slowly took him deeper and deeper into his mouth, always popping off to look up at Dean with those big blue eyes while he licked the pre come off the slit. Finally Cas took him as far as he could and swallowed. Dean fisted his hands in Cas’s hair as he saw white. Cas never spilled a drop.  
When Dean was lucid again, he took a still kneeling Cas too his room and lay down on the bed. Spooning Cas in front of him.

“Fuck Cas! That...that was.... awesome.”

“Glad you enjoyed it” Cas said with an obvious smile in his voice.

They lay together, and for the first time in months...

Dean slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was my attempt at writing *ahem* Sexual activities :P
> 
>  
> 
> Also, all the stupid stuff like you're when it's supposed to be your, is a direct result of writing this at 3 am and not proofing before you upload :3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we find out where Sammy is...

When Dean woke up, Cas was gone. He rolled over and draped his arm over the spot the other man would have occupied. In place of a long, lean, muscular body, was a piece of paper. It read, _“ gone to get us supper. will be back. please don’t think I took off on you. I’m not that much of an asshole. CN “_  
Dean didn’t think Cas was an asshole at all, but if this morning were any indication of things to come, Dean would have a hard time convincing him of that. Hell, most of the time he had a hard time convincing himself of the same thing.  
What the fuck had he done this morning? He’d gotten head before, plenty of times. But never from a guy. And never like that. After he had gotten back from overseas, there had been a long line of one night stands, but none who could suck a dick like that, and none that he had wanted to cuddle with after. Dean Winchester didn’t cuddle. 

~~~~~~

Cas had walked to the burger place a block down from Dean’s apartment, playing over this morning’s activities in his head. He was attracted to Dean, that much was certain, but never once had he been comfortable enough to suck someone’s dick. He had had sex before, but he had always needed to be the dominant one. Years of being dominated against your will do that to a person. He just needed to feel like he was making himself useful, the only way he knew how.  
He gripped the paper bag in his hands tighter as he reached the building. Pulling Dean’s keys out of his jacket pocket he opened the door and made his way up the stairs to the apartment. When he opened the door, he saw two feet dangling off the arm of the couch, one with a sock on, one without.  
Dean had heard Cas start to come up the stairs from where he lay on the couch. One of his socks had gotten pulled off during their nap and he really didn’t care enough to find it in the bottom of the sheets.  
“Hey...” Dean said tentatively, not knowing what to expect from Cas.  
“Hey!” Cas said with a smile that was a little too big for the occasion, “I got us burgers and a poutine each.”  
“A poo...WHAT?” Dean exclaimed, a small smile passing over his lips.  
“A Poutine! It’s fries, and gravy and cheese curds, a heart attack on a plate and Heaven on a fork”  
Dean walked over from the couch to investigate, his feet making uneven sounds on the peeling linoleum floor. He picked up a fry, dripping with gravy and melted cheese and popped it in his mouth.  
“Holy god thish ish amashing!” he said, his mouth trying not to burn on the hot gravy.  
“Glad you like it” Cas said back with the same smile in his voice as this morning.  
That voice when straight to Dean’s groin. He gasped a little when he heard it, and prayed to god or whoever was on duty that night that Cas didn’t hear it. He sat down at his table and grabbed a burger. Normally he didn’t eat at his table, (if he ate at all), but right now he couldn’t be standing up.  
Cas sat down across the table from him and grabbed the other burger. He took the top bun off and started to pick off the pickles and the onions.  
“If you don’t like those, why don’t you ask for it without them?” Dean asked as he swallowed his second bite of burger.  
“Because I don’t like being a burden. I don’t like making someone’s job harder than it is. Plus I can always just pick them off myself.”  
Dean looked at him like he had 3 heads.  
“What?” Cas asked, smiling trying to hide how uncomfortable he was feeling.  
“Just...you. You don’t let people look after you, do you?”  
“Not usually. Is it that obvious?”  
“Yep.”  
Cas held Dean’s eyes as he tried to assert his dominance. Blue held onto green until green yielded and looked back at his burger. Cas had needed that little victory to make himself feel better about this morning. He needed to feel like he was back in control.  
Dean had wondered about that display of dominance on Cas’s part. He quickly realized it must have something to do with his past. Michael had obviously done quite a number on Cas. It was a miracle the guy was still alive. Then what was the deal with the blowjob? Dean could imagine that that was a pretty submissive thing to do...  
Dean decided right there. Once he had finished eating, he took Cas by the hand and pushed him down onto the couch.  
“Dean? What are you doing?” Cas asked, his nervousness coming through in his voice.  
“I just wanna try something..” Dean said, as he knelt down in between Cas’s spread legs.  
“O-ok...”  
Dean pressed a kiss to where Cas’s flaccid cock was resting. He felt it stir under his lips and harden very slightly. Dean smiled to himself. Maybe he could figure this out.  
“Dean...” Cas said quietly, “have you ever done this before?”  
Dean shook his head no.  
“Then let me walk you though it. First, kiss me.”  
Cas leaned down and took Dean’s face in his hands, pressing his lips to Dean’s and gently swiping the tip of his tongue across them, prompting them to open. Cas felt the heat off Dean’s cheeks as he blushed before letting him in to taste him. Dean’s hands found their way into Cas’s and Cas wrapped his arms around Dean’s torso and pulled him in tighter.  
Dean slid one hand out of Cas’s hair and down to the other man’s groin and stroked Cas’s prominent hard on. He was really going to do this.  
They broke apart and Dean slid down further onto his knees. He kissed Cas’s cock through the trousers he wore. He undid the button at the top of the pants and slowly unzipped the zipper. Cas lifted his hips slightly so Dean could pull down his pants and underwear. He hissed as the cooler air from the air hit his swollen, red cock.  
“First you wanna lick your lips, dry lips on dry skin equals-“  
“Cas, I have gotten one or two of these myself, I know the basics.”  
“’kay”  
Dean licked his lips then licked up the underside of Cas from base to tip before sheathing the tip in his mouth. Cas smelled like a man, and tasted even more so like one. Dean felt his cock start to harden, no way was he going to let himself come before Cas did. He flattened out his tongue and pressed it gently to the vein underneath while moving downward, taking more of Cas into his mouth. Cas groaned and slid a hand up Dean’s face before grabbing a handful of hair. Dean hummed in pleasure from the slight twinge of pain, bringing his mouth towards the tip again, this time making sure to get the bead of pre come that hadn’t slid down the shaft, swirling and flicking at the head inside of him.  
“Dean” Cas moaned, “Oh my fuck Dean, you are so fucking good at this!”  
Dean, encouraged by Cas’s verbal response, took Cas as far down as he could, trying so desperately to relax his throat and take him ALL the way down.  
“Feels so good Dean!” Cas was all but turned inside out from the pleasure, “Take me d-down as far as you c-an, baby, and swallow around me”  
Dean did exactly that, as soon as his throat closed around Cas and created that little bit of suck, Cas was gone, hands fisted in Dean’s hair, back arched so high off the couch Dean thought he might have broken it. Dean took one of his hands and wrapped it around his own cock, only taking two or three strokes to bring himself to the edge, and then over, spilling his warm seed over his hand. In his mouth, he could feel Cas twitching and pumping warm streams of bitter cum down his throat. He didn’t know what to expect come to taste like, but he was surprised that it wasn’t terrible. He pulled off Cas and took his tongue up the underside of Cas and pressed out the last little bit of come out of Cas and licked it off the slit.  
Cas watched as Dean got _EVERY. LAST. DROP._ Eyes wide with wonder and amazement that this guy, who had NEVER been with another man until today, had given him the best blowjob of his LIFE.  
“You were lying, you have done that before.” Cas said, squinting downward in mock anger.  
“Ha. No, I haven’t” Dean responded with a crooked smile as he got up off the floor, and sat down next to Cas, who hadn’t yet put himself back in his pants.  
Somewhere in the kitchen, Dean heard his phone vibrating. Should he get up and answer it? Or was that rude to leave the guy you just gave head to sitting on your couch? Try as he may, Dean was still pretty cynical about this whole thing.  
He got up and grabbed the phone out of his coat pocket. He walked back over to the couch where Cas was zipping up, still looking blissfully fucked out, and answered it.  
“Hello?... Yes this is Dean Winchester...What happened?...Oh my god...Is he alright?!......is Doctor Barnes with him?!...Yeah! I’ll be there as soon as I can!” Dean was shaking and crying as he hung up.  
“What’s wrong?!” Cas asked, very concerned by Dean’s current state.

“My brother tried to kill himself. I need you to drive me to Cresentview Psychiatric Hospital”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SORRY IT'S BETTER THAN HAVING HIM BE DEAD.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No porn, just plot... and feels. I'm sorry.

Dean opens the hospital door and looks frantically around for the nurses station. Sammy had done this a couple of times, but it didn’t make Dean any less scared and upset. He knew that if Sam ever went through with it, he would blame himself. After all, it’s his fault Sam has these fucking issues to deal with.  
“Dean Winchester, here for Sam Winchester. This is Castiel Novak, he’s with me.” Dean says to the nurse. Dean takes out his drivers licence and prompts Cas to do the same. The nurse looks at him with a mixture of sympathy and pity. Her name tag read “Meg” and he wondered if she acted this way with everyone who came in to see patients, or just the ones who fuck their brother up so bad that he winds up getting them admitted to a nuthouse with a list of prescription drugs longer than their forearm.  
Meg lead them down a stark, white hallway. It smelled like disinfectant and lost hope. It burned Dean’s nose, and it hurt his soul. She then turned down a smaller, darker hallway and stopped in front of a locked door. She opened it after swiping her pass, and stopped just short of room 382.  
“He’s pretty sedated, not all the way under, but he’s pretty loopy. Also, he had to be restrained.” Meg said, her voice smooth like a sip of whisky.  
Dean’s eyes filled with tears for the second time that day. He should have gotten him to safety over there, before they could fuck with his body and inevitably his mind. Fuck.  
“Mr. Winchester? I’m Doctor Pamela Barnes, we spoke on the phone a few weeks ago?” Dean nodded, wiping the tears from his eyes.  
“Yeah... yeah, I remember. You wanted to know about what happened over there.”  
“Your brother had a psychotic break this evening. The nurse on duty said she heard him screaming at something to let go of him, that he would do it. When she ran in, he had taken a piece of metal from his bed and cut both of his wrists. He then tried to hit her when she tried to calm him down.”  
Dean stood there, looking at the doctor in horror as she relayed the events of the evening. He finally cracked. Tears streaming down his face as he slid down the wall, knees curled up in front of his chest. He sat there, silently sobbing when he felt a hand on his back. Cas had sat down in the same position and was rubbing circles into Dean’s shaking back. Dean was honestly very thankful Cas was there.  
Cas had been silent as the doctor told Dean what his brother had done. It hurt his heart to see Dean having to deal with his brother’s trauma, whatever that had been, as well as his own. He saw the tears well up in Dean’s eyes, just as they had in his car this morning when Dean had thought he hadn’t seen. When the other man crumpled to the floor, he couldn’t have just stood there outside the door, while this broken man let out the most honest emotion Cas had ever seen. So he consoled him for the second time that day.  
“Mr. Winchester, if you want to go in and see him, now is the time. Where you have someone with you, you don’t need a nurse to go in with you. Just stay alert.”  
Dean nodded and looked up at the woman. “I don’t think he would hurt me,” Dean croaked out through the tears. “But you never know.”  
“Yes Mr. Winchester, with cases like Sam’s, we never do know.”

Dean stood up and opened the door. His moose of a little brother lay on the bed, ankles restrained, his wrists bandaged thickly with white gauze, and restraints fitted snugly just above the bandages. Sam turned his head when he heard the door open and looked Dean directly in the eye.  
“Hey Sammy. This is my friend Cas, we came to make sure you were alright.”  
“They almost got me again Dean.”  
Dean sat down on the chair next to the head of Sam’s bed. Cas stayed further back as to not intrude.  
“Don’t worry Sam, no one can get you. You’re in the hospital, bud. They’re here to help you.”  
“How do you know that? You’re not here ate night!” Sam slurred, the drugs obvious in his voice.  
“I know Sammy, because we’re not there anymore. We’re not in Kandahar anymore.” Dean said softly back to Sam. Cas wondered if that statement was more for Dean than Sam.  
“Sammy, please promise me you won’t try and hurt yourself again.” Dean made eye contact with Sam’s amber eyes. Cas could see that Sam’s eyes held the same pain as Dean’s did.  
“I can’t promise that.” Sam said, finally breaking off the eye contact.  
“Just try,” Dean croaked, “ just try and get through tonight, then tomorrow, and the next day.”  
“I’ll try.” Sam whispered, staring at the ceiling. Dean reached out and grabbed Sam’s large, pale hand.  
“I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here.”  
“You will move on, and be ok.”  
Dean had to leave the room. Hearing his brother pretty well tell him that he would have to deal with his death at some point was hurting him in a place in his soul he had just barely bandaged up. He let go of Sam’s hand and left the room, leaving Cas alone with Sam.  
“I don’t know what happened over there, but it effected him too. He may not see things like you, but he’s barely holding on. Please don’t leave him. I only met him today, but I can tell, he’s a good guy and he loves the fuck out of you. You checking out before your time, would kill him too.” Cas blurted out. Sam looked at him.  
“I really can’t promise I won’t. It’s so fucking hard to want to fucking live after this kind of shit!” Sam said with a hitch in his voice.  
“I know,” Cas said sadly, “I know”.  
Dean came back in the room with puffy, red eyes. “I’ll come back tomorrow, man. See how you’re doing.” Sam smiled, and Cas could see in it, a glimpse of the man he had been before Kandahar.  
Dean walked silently down the hallways of the hospital, only stopping once to ask a nurse to let them out of the locked ward. Cas walked slightly behind him. The two men walked out of the lobby and into the parking lot. Once at Cas’s car, Cas spoke.  
“So, I’m taking you to my place.” He said matter of factly.  
“Cas, I’m really not in the mood to fool around-“  
“I didn’t say we had to. We’ve been at your place all day, you may not have to work tomorrow, but I do. I can’t show up at my new job in the same suit as when I left.”  
“Ok, but can we stop so I can get my car?”  
“Sure.”  
They drove the remaining distance to the school in silence. Cas pulled up just before Dean’s shabby, grey Corolla.  
“So, I’ll just follow you?” Dean asked as he go out of the Jetta.  
“Yeah, It’s not too hard to find, I’m just off Eglington.”  
Cas watched as Dean pulled the keys from his pocket, opened the door and slid in. Cas pulled out of the parking lot in the direction of his apartment and saw in his rear-view mirror that Dean was indeed following him. He also wondered if he should have told Sam what he had when Dean was in the hallway. He hadn’t lied to Sam. He did know how that feeling felt, like you have been through so much shit and come out the other side all fucked up. It makes you wonder if surviving was your own real purpose in this life. Maybe just the fact that you survived had been your purpose, and once it was over and you were alive, you didn’t have to be anymore. His scars had faded, but the memories he had would always be there.  
He turned the corner from Smythe onto Eglington, and then again onto Lynhaven, pulling up to a small bungalow and into the driveway. He motioned for Dean to pull in behind his car.  
“Dude, I thought you had an apartment?”  
“I do, I live downstairs. Upstairs is a lovely retired couple who are currently in Florida.”  
“Oh.”  
Cas lead Dean through to the side of the house and to a small set of steps leading downward to a door. He fished in his pocket for his keys and opened it. They walked into a small kitchen and Cas toed off his shoes. Dean followed suit.  
“Ugh, I’m gonna go take a shower,” Cas said stretching his torso up, almost touching the low ceiling. “Make yourself comfortable. I think there’s a beer or two in the fridge.” Dean nodded and looked around the kitchen then living area. He grabbed a beer and looked at some of the pictures Cas had on his fridge. One was of a slightly younger Cas, sandwiched between a tall, sandy haired man with a slight smile, and a shorter man with the same sandy hair as the other, only it was shaggy. He took a swig from his beer and took the picture off the fridge, flipping it over. There was no caption, only a date, “5/24/08” Putting the picture back, he noticed another picture in the living area, just beside the ancient TV. It was of two adults, both smiling and laughing, and four boys of varying ages. The youngest one must be Cas. It looked like him, He was small and leaning on his mother’s dress, small hands clinging to it. The next two boys were sitting in front of Cas and the adults. One looked slightly older than the other, and they both had foolish grins on their faces. The last boy was tall, standing inbetween the two adults, with dark hair and dark eyes. Not blue like Cas and the woman Dean assumed was their mother, and not light brown like the man Dean assumed was their father. He was smiling with a hand on Cas’s tiny shoulder. Dean could only assume that that was Michael.  
“I see you’ve met my family.”  
“Yeah. Are these your parents?” Dean asks as a freshly showered Cas comes closer, wearing sweat pants that hung dangerously low on his hips, and no shirt.  
“Yes. That’s my mother, Sarah. And my Father, Chuck. I’m the little shy one,” Cas says with a small smile. “Those are my brothers Gabe, and Luc, Gabe is the younger one. And... that...” Cas swallows, “That’s Michael.”  
“Cas, you don’t have to tell me about this if you don’t want to.” Dean says, putting a hand on Cas’s bare shoulder.  
“You told me about your brother, it’s only fair I tell you about mine, and what he did.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pornz. Pornz and feels.

Dean sat down nervously on Cas’s faded blue couch. He didn’t know how far into detail Cas would go. Not that it was something that would make him uncomfortable, hell, if the guy wanted to tell him about what had happened to him, he was all ears.  
Cas grabbed a clean shirt from the laundry he had done the night before, and pulls it over his head. The shirt read “Garrison Ale”, the same kind of beer Dean had gotten from the fridge. Cas sat down on the matching faded blue armchair and pulls his knees up to his chest the way he had done in the hospital. It made him look remarkably like the small boy who had clung to his mother’s skirt.  
“I was 6. My parents had gone out on a date, which they did regularly. Michael was at work, and Luc was left alone with Gabe and I. They hit a patch of ice and hit a tree. They were both killed instantly. I obviously didn’t find out the details until much later, seeing as I was only 6.”  
“I’m so sorry Cas.” Dean said, genuinely sorry.  
“It’s fine, I just remember snippets of them. The way mom sung while she cooked, and the way dad shaved in the morning.” Cas took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “So anyway, mom and dad had been gone about a year when he started coming into my room after Gabe and Luc were asleep. He told me that if I told anyone, people would think I was just the fucked up kid with no parents. Half of that was true. They didn’t believe me, but I stopped being a kid that first time.”  
Cas had said all this, staring at the beige carpet. He was scared that Dean would be disgusted by him. His last...boyfriend (for lack of a better term) had found out before Cas had wanted him to and had called Cas up, calling him every name in the book. Cas had cried himself to sleep for a good long while. Not because of his lost relationship, but because this guy was another person who thought less of him for what had happened. That’s when he had decided to leave the town he was in and move and apply for the job had has now.  
Dean looked at Cas. “I can kinda relate, my mom died in a fire when I was 4, Sam was only 6 months old. I don’t remember much of her...”  
“But your brother didn’t rape you every chance he got.”  
“No, you’re right. I’m sorry.” Dean said quietly. Cas stiffened.  
“I’m going to bed. Stay if you want.”  
Cas got up and stalked to his bedroom. He was really tired of people trying to relate to him. His therapist, Anna, had told him to try and let people understand how he felt, and show solidarity by offering their own stories that could relate. Even if it is in a small way. He knew he was being an asshole to Dean, but he was pissed that after a day of helping dean with his own issues, he lets him in and he makes it about himself? Not cool.  
Cas stripped off his sweats and pulled on a clean pair of black boxers. He pulled back the sheets and slid in-between them, shivering at the coolness. His back ached as he finally let it relax. He rolled over, not wanting to face the door in case Dean did decide to stay.  
Dean felt terrible. He had pissed off Cas, after everything he had done for him today. He thought about leaving, but Cas had said he could stay, and he really did want to stay.  
Making up his mind, he took off his coat and draped it over the arm of the couch, and cautiously went to Cas’s room. He stood in the doorway, mustering up the courage to get undressed and into the bed. He saw a shock of black hair on the white pillow furthest away from him and found the courage he had been looking for. He went in, sat on the bed, took off his jeans and slid under the covers. 

Cas felt the bed dip shortly after seeing Dean’s shadow in the doorway. There was a jingle of a belt buckle, a rustle of jeans and a thud of fabric hitting the floor.  
“I’m sorry” Dean murmured, just barely audible.  
“I just never got to have something be about me, even when EVERYTHING was about me. That sounds selfish, and maybe it is, but it’s how I feel.”  
“It’s fine Cas. You of all people deserve to have something be about you.”  
Cas rolled over and looked at Dean. “No one has ever told me that was ok before. The whole fucking town thinks I made it up. Neither of my brothers were able to have me live with them, so I was the 15 year old orphan in a town that hates his guts.”  
Dean pushed his arm under Cas, pulling him close against him.  
“That town was wrong, and you lived through that hell and came out the other side,”  
“But when the dust settles, I’m the one that has to deal with it. Other people can only give so much support before they get tired of helping.”  
Dean ran his hand through Cas’s hair, soothing the emotionally exhausted man.  
“You’re doing a damn good job at dealing, Cas. You got an education, a job in your field, 2 brothers who love you and care about you... and you have me... I mean... as a supportive person.” Dean blushed, he hadn’t meant to come out and pretty well say that he cared about Cas in a non-platonic way. The confusion reared it’s ugly head once again.  
Cas looked up at Dean and saw the slight confusion on his face. He didn’t want Dean to be confused anymore, but all he could do was be there while he figured out his sexuality. The same way Dean was there to support Cas in dealing with his past. He reached up and ran his hand through Dean’s short, brown hair, “Let’s just go to sleep, hmm?”  
“Yeah...” Dean mumbled as Cas’s fingers massaged his scalp.  
“I’m sorry about your mom...” Cas said as Dean finally drifted off to sleep.

Cas woke up at 4:52am, according to his digital alarm clock. He groaned and pulled the covers up over his head.  
“You awake?” whispered Dean from behind him.  
“Not by choice” Cas said back, his voice thick with sleep. Dean tossed his arm over Cas’s lean body.  
“You know, I seem to only sleep well when I’m with you.”  
“I’m glad I can be of service.” Cas said sleepily.  
“You’re just so comfortable.” Dean said, throwing his inhibitions aside and kissing the back of Cas’s neck. Cas shivered at the touch of soft lips on him. Feeling the outline of Dean’s cock on the back of his thigh, he dipped his hips and pressed his ass back into Dean’s hardness. Dean groaned with want and sucked at Cas’s neck. Cas pressed harder and reached down to stroke his own half hard dick. Dean rolled Cas over and pressed his lips to Cas’s, their dicks rubbed together through their boxers and they let out simultaneous moans.  
Cas reached down and slipped his hands under the waist band of Dean’s boxers, stoking the other man’s cock. Dean let out a whimper and grabbed the back of Cas’s neck, pulling him into the kiss.  
“I wanna fuck you so bad Cas! Fuck I’ve wanted to fuck you since I first saw you!”  
Cas shivered and smiled, “So fuck me then” he said with a cocky smile. He trusted Dean not to hurt him, even if it meant bottoming for the questioning man.  
Dean’s eyes flew open with a look of surprise. “Really?” he said.  
“Yes, really! If you don’t fucking prep me in the next 5 seconds, I’m going to get out of bed and you won’t get to fill me up!” Cas teased.  
Dean flipped the smaller man over onto his back, green eyes dark with lust.  
“Got lube?”  
“Of course I have lube, you ass, in the table beside you.”  
Dean fumbled around in the drawer until he pulled out a small bottle and lubed up his fingers.  
“Dean...” Cas whined with impatience, “I need you”. The whine quickly became a gasp as Dean circled a finger around his hole, He fisted in the sheets, trying not to come from just Dean touching him. He growled out a cry as Dean’s finger pushed its way in past the ring of muscle.  
“You like that, do ya?” Dean asked with a little cocky edge to his voice.  
“Fuck yes Deanoh my god!” Cas moaned as Dean introduced a second finger, and scissored them, stretching him open.  
“God Cas... so fucking tight...you are gonna be so fucking good...” Dean growled out, through gritted teeth.  
“Fuck me Dean, fuck me... please.” Cas whined again as Dean withdrew his fingers and went again to the bedside table. Cas heard the wrapper of a condom and the pause of Dean putting it on and lubing himself up. Then the head of Dean’s cock at his entrance. The both groaned as Dean pushed into him slowly, inch by inch until he was fully seated inside Cas.  
“You ok?” Dean asked and Cas nodded yes in response.  
“Yes...just...fucking...move!” Cas begged. Dean obliged him, starting with slow shallow thrusts.  
“Fuck Cas, so fucking amazing...so tight...” Dean moaned. Cas clenched a little around him, making Dean gasp and fuck him harder.  
Cas was writhing beneath him, cock leaking pre come all over their bellies, moaning and biting him lower lip. Dean was entranced. He pulled himself out until just the very tip was still inside Cas and thrust back in, hitting Cas’s prostate as he did. Cas yelled out in pleasure.  
“Dean touch me, I’m so close!” Cas gasped as Dean pulled out and trust in again, “Please! Please Dean!” Dean knelt and trust in quickly and deeply, and wrapped a hand around Cas’s cock, slowly stroking him until Cas arched his back, threw his head back. Dean fucked him and jerked him through his orgasam, Cas’s come painting his hand and his own stomach. Dean could feel his own release gathering in the pit of his stomach. He thrust four more erractic thrusts until he finally found it, twitching and jerking inside Cas. Cas gently tugged on his hair as he came inside him. Dean withdrew and rolled off of him.  
“Wow.” Cas said, sated.  
“Yeah... Very wow” Dean said with his cocky smile.  
They lay there in fucked out bliss

Cas sat up and stretched.  
“I need to get in the shower.” he said, leaning down to kiss Dean.  
“I have a question for you before you get up.” Dean said softly.  
“Oh? What is it?”  
“Do you want to have dinner tonight? You know...as a date?” Dean asked quietly, as if expecting rejection.  
“Of course I would like to go on a date with you.” Cas said smiling, “I thought you’d never ask.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that happened.  
> also, I probably wont be posting Chapter 7 this week, (unless I do... then whatever.) Midterms... work... papers due... SPN Season 9 premiere to watch... you know, the like.  
> Also, first time writing sexytimes that aren't bj's so I may go back and play around with that at some point... So be prepared for changes. not to the plot, but to activities 


	7. Chapter 7

Cas came home to a brown haired, freckled Dean Winchester sitting on his door step.  
“Uh... Hi?” Cas said questioningly.  
“I uh... I didn’t have your number to set up dinner...”  
“Oh.”  
“I hope I didn’t creep you out...you know... by me being here,” Dean said sheepishly, “I just came back from seeing Sammy, your place is kind of in-between the hospital and my apartment.”  
“No,” Cas said with a smile, “You didn’t creep me out. You had a good reason. How’s Sam?”  
“Better. He’s back on his meds, apparently he’d been hiding them from the new nurse. He’s not restrained anymore, but he’s still on lockdown.”  
“That’s really good!” Cas exclaimed. He liked Sam. Even though he had only met him while he was heavily medicated, he had seen the guy inside. The one hurting, and he could relate.  
“So, do you want to come in? I don’t have much in my fridge, but we can order a pizza...”  
Dean considered Cas’s offer. He didn’t really enjoy going out to restaurants, mainly because of the crowds and his inability to see everything around him and what could possibly make sudden noises. It exhausted him, but he really liked Cas, and he could deal. He wanted to show Cas he wasn’t just ‘Dean Winchester: broken man and history teacher’  
“Actually, did you want to go out? Like on that date? It’s a little short notice...but if you’re free...” Dean’s sentence trailed off in nerves.  
“Sure! After the day I had, I could use a beer... or four.” Cas smirked as he looked over his shoulder at Dean, while unlocking the door, “Just let me get changed, and we can go.” Dean’s hands had found their way into the pockets of his jeans, and he was looking rather nervous.  
“I hope it wasn’t that bad, the kids are usually pretty good.” Dean said.  
“It wasn’t the kids, they’re actually pretty awesome. Dr. Crowley made sure I knew I only have a masters degree and not a PhD.”  
Dr. Crowley was the head of the science department, and had a reputation for making students and faculty feel inferior.  
“Ugh, that guy is such a douche. He thinks that because he spent an extra few years in some stuffy old university in England that that makes him king shit. He still only teaches high school like you and me.” Dean called towards Cas who has gone to his room to change.  
That actually makes me feel better.” Cas said, emerging from his room wearing a dark blue button down, a fire truck red tie, a black waistcoat and a pair of dark jeans. “All today he kept asking things like what my parents did for a living, what school I went to, what I majored in. Obviously English, as I teach it.”  
Dean didn’t hear half of what Cas had said; he was too busy looking him up and down. The clothes Cas had changed into fit him perfectly. The shirt sat perfectly across his shoulders and just right at the wrists, the tie was the perfect colour to add to the outfit, and the waistcoat accentuated just how slim and muscular Cas really was. And the jeans. Holy fuck the JEANS. Tight enough to show off Cas’s INCREDIBLE ass, but not tight enough to give everything away. OK, Dean admitted to himself, He was gay.  
“Holy shit Cas! You look good!” Dean exclaimed. Cas beamed at the compliment.  
“Thank Dean” Cas said with a wide smile. “So where are we going?’  
“I know of a place that has great burgers and stuff, a friend of my parents owns it.”  
“Sounds great!” Cas said happily, still on a high from the compliment. They climbed into Dean’s Corolla and they were off.  
~~~~~~~  
Dean walked in the door at Harvelle’s Roadhouse first. It wasn’t that busy and the people that were there were people he knew. He lead Cas over to the far end of the restaurant and into the booth his father always picked when he took he and Sammy here as kids.  
“Look what the cat drug in! As I live and breathe! Dean Winchester out of his apartment!” A middle-aged woman with a warm smile and an obvious attitude had come over to their booth.  
“Hey Ellen” Dean said warmly, getting up to give her a hug, “It’s been a long time since I was last in the actual building huh? This is my…friend, Castiel Novak.”  
“Very nice to meet you. Castiel was it?” Ellen said with a lopsided grin.  
“Very nice to meet you too, Ellen, and It’s Cas.” Cas stood up and took her extended hand and shook it. He could tell Dean had spent a fair bit of time with this woman as he had learned her grin.  
“So how did you get our Dean here to leave his house? He usually just calls and gets Ash or Jo to deliver a burger and pie to his place”  
“Awe come on Ellen!” Dean said with faux frustration.  
“Oh Alright, What’ll it be boys?” Ellen said, taking out a small notebook.  
“The usual” Dean said, “and a piece of blueberry pie”  
“I’ll have a burger, extra lettuce and tomato, and whatever lager is on tap.” Cas said, not looking up from the menu until he had finished ordering.  
“Coming right up! Good too see you Dean, and nice to meet you Cas!” Ellen walked away to give their order to Ash in the kitchen, and Dean followed her with his eyes. Ellen and Bobby had been just as much parents to him as John and Kate (his step mother) were. He and Sam had spent weekends and sometime longer with them when their impulsive parents had decided to have impromptu vacations. Sam was the same age as Jo, Ellen’s daughter and Bobby’s stepdaughter. They had played their hearts out together on the weekends they spent together. Dean was older and had spent most of his time with Bobby in the scrapyard. He had found his baby out there when he was 21. The 1967 Impala was beat up and rusty, but he saw the beauty in her, even covered in all that rust. He had worked on her off and on for 3 years until he had enlisted. Bobby wasn’t happy when Dean had told him he was joining the army, but he had used the car to make Dean promise he would be back, preferably in one piece. Dean had been worried that Bobby would think he hadn’t kept his promise. He wasn’t sure about how many pieces he was actually in.  
Cas looked like he belonged in a big city, Dean thought, not this little shit town. Dean had shown up wearing ripped jeans, an AC/DC tee shirt, and a black zip up hoodie. He felt SEVERELY under dressed. If he had known Cas was going to put on what he had, he would have ditched the hoodie and thrown on a blazer or something.  
“So what else did you do all day?” Cas asked, pulling Dean out of oogling Cas, and memory lane.  
“I was here most of the day actually, before going to see Sam. Bobby, Ellen’s husband, had a scrapyard. I’m fixing up a car I found out there a long time ago.”  
“Really? I never took you for a car type.” Cas said, sipping the beer which had been set in front of him.  
“Yeah… I wasn’t the best of kids, and when I found that car, it gave me something to focus my energy on. Then when I enlisted, Bobby kept it out of harms way while I was over there.” Dean’s eyes were glued to the wooden table, searching for the “DW” he had carved into the wood when he was 11 and his dad had given him his first pocket knife.  
Ellen came back with their food and they dug in, Dean into his Bacon cheeseburger, and Cas into his own burger. Piled high with light green iceberg lettuce and thick hothouse tomatoes.  
“Dude, you aren’t supposed to put vegetables on a burger! It’s just wrong!” Dean said with his lop sided grin he had stolen from Ellen.  
And who is going to have a heart attack at 45? Hmm? Not me, because tomorrow, before school starts, I am running this off.”  
Dean felt himself blush. He really wanted to say Cas could work the burger off with him at his place, but he wasn’t secure enough in himself, and his newly found sexuality to flirt back. Especially in public. Maybe after a couple beers. He grabbed the pint Ellen had set before him and took a swig.  
They talked more about Cas’s day, and how one of the students had made him want to lose it on his grade 9 English class. (If I hear ‘Angel of Thursday’ one more time, I WILL go apeshit). By 8 o’clock, they were both in stitches, Cas was drunk, and Dean was buzzed.  
“C’mon out back, I’ll show you my car.” Dean said, standing up and heading for the door.  
“Winchester, I haven’t heard that line since college!” Cas slurred with a huge smile as he followed Dean out the door.  
“It’s not a line, but if it’ll work…” Dean smirked, eyebrow raised as he lead Cas behind the restaurant and between the aging farmhouse neighbouring it.  
“The way you fucked me this morning, you don’t need a line to get into my pants.” Cas licked his lips. Dean felt himself stiffen in his boxers. Awww fuck it, he thought, Cas was into him, they had had sex. Why shouldn’t he flirt back?  
“Yeah?” he asked with a smirk, “anytime I want?” he asked, biting his lip.  
“Oh fuck yeah.” Cas grabbed the sides of his hoodie and slammed his lips into Dean’s. Cas tasted like beer, and that was so sexy.  
Cas’s tongue licked at Dean’s lips and slipped his hands down to Dean’s ass, grabbing it. Dean inhaled sharply through his nose.  
“You know, I am sober enough to drive.” He whispered into Cas’s mouth.  
“Get me into you car, and get me into your fucking bed.” Cas growled. Dean nodded in agreement. Would he ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Sorry for taking so long, I have had midterms, quizzes, a mother in the hospital, and a bunch of other shit going on.
> 
> Drunk Cas is forward :D  
> Sorry for cutting out at the good part :P
> 
> it's Canadian thanksgiving this weekend so I will try and get ch8 started at some point...


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. I tried something new. Italics is Dean thinking, and Bold is Cas thinking.

            “Morning Winchester.” Cas said sleepily as his alarm went off.

            “Morning Novak” Dean replied equally as sleepily. Last night had been better than yesterday morning, memories coming back as his fingers grazed Cas’s stomach.

            “Mmmmm” Cas hummed as he rolled into Dean’s arms, “feels good”. Dean smiled and kissed the mess of dark hair that had wiggled its way under his chin. Dean sighed. he hadn’t felt this good in ages. _Maybe this was... NO. What are you even thinking Winchester!? You have known this guy for all of two days. You don’t love him. You love the company._

            Cas reached his hand up and carded it softly through Dean’s hair, “We have to get up. We’ll be late.” He swung his legs over the bed and grabbed his boxers. “I’m getting in the shower, feel free to join me... but we don’t have much time so it’ll have to be PG13”

            Dean groaned as he stretched and followed Cas to the bathroom. Over the past couple days he had had more sex than he had had in months. One PG13 shower would actually be good, considering he would have to work with the guy. He didn’t need to be popping a boner every time Cas walked by in the hallway.

            Castiel turned on the water and stepped in, closely followed by Dean. The men were silent as they took turns washing the places the other couldn’t reach, both pretending not to look at each other’s erections. **This isn’t going to be PG13** , thought Cas as he very deliberately looked from Dean’s cock to his eyes, before getting down on his knees and licking the tip gingerly.

            “I thought this-oh fuck- was supposed to be just a shower” said Dean, gasping as Cas slipped the tip into his mouth, sucking gently.

            “I lied” Cas said with a smirk before taking Dean into his mouth, sucking the head again getting a very loud moan from above him.

            “Oh fuck Cas- God fucking dammit!” He moaned as Cas licked and sucked the head, then worked the shaft, finally taking him all the way down his throat.

              Dean’s knees were getting weaker and weaker as he got closer to orgasm. Cas knew exactly how to make him come as fast as a fourteen year old boy. He would be embarrassed, but damn it felt good. He moaned as his hips snapped forward and the head of his cock hit the back of Cas’s throat, Cas hummed in response and looked up at Dean through his long, dark eyelashes, Dean’s cock still down his throat. Cas hummed one more time while keeping eye contact, knowing full well how close the other man was.

            “Cas I-I’m-I’m gonna come!” Dean groaned as Cas swallowed around him, giving him the little extra pressure and suction to toss him over the cliff of Cas’s mouth. Cas hummed appreciatively, and jerked himself off while as Dean spurted white, hot, milky come down his throat. _holy fuck. holy fuck. holy fuck_ Dean thought while trying to maintain his vertical position. Cas chuckled and Dean realized he hadn’t only been thinking those words, but saying them.

            “Holy shit Cas!” Dean said, panting heavily, “Just holy shit.” Cas stood up and pressed a chaste kiss onto Dean’s lips.

            “C’mon, we gotta get dressed”

 

                                                            ~~~~~~~~~~

            Cas pulled into the parking space next to Dean’s. They had had to speed almost the whole way there in order to get there on time, and had made it just under the wire. Dean had pulled in a few seconds before Cas had and was just getting out of his car when Cas pulled in.

            “I look ridiculous! Like a god damn stripper!” Dean said sadly. He didn’t have work clothes with him when he had gone to pick up Cas the night before so he had had to borrow some of Cas’s. Luckily, he had found a pair of his own pants in the trunk of his car so he really just needed a dress shirt. The one Cas had given him was bright red and about a size and a half too small. The sleeves were an ok length, but he had fought the buttons tooth and nail to get them done up, and they were pulling against his broad chest, threatening to burst at the slightest inhale.

“You look really, really good.” Cas said shyly. It was the first time since meeting Cas that Cas had acted shy around him.

            Cas figured that they would have to act like they had only met once while at work. He was used to boyfriends or lovers (or whatever the fuck they were called) acting like they actually liked him when they were alone, and not giving him the time of day while in public or around other people. Why should Dean be any different? He wanted him to be different, so badly, but he was not going to get his hopes up. What can you really learn about a person in two days? **Apparently I can learn how to suck them off in two days. Good going Novak. Act like a slut. It’s all you know.**

            Cas and Dean walked to the doors to the school closely. When they walked in the doors, Lisa was the first to greet them.

            “Good morning Dean! Good to see you are feeling better!” She said with a smile, “Hi...Castiel was it? That’s an odd name!” Dean nodded and thanked her, Cas just smiled a shy smile, but deep down his mind was really giving him hell. **So what is my name is odd? It’s not like I picked it** he thought.

            Dean could tell there was something bugging Cas as they walked down the hallway to their classes. Opening the door with his key, he motioned for Cas to come in and close the door behind him. Once inside, Dean sat on the edge of a desk and pulled Cas into his arms.

            “I don’t know what’s bugging you, but if it’s what Lisa said, don’t sweat it. She doesn’t really have a filter.” He said as he wrapped his arms around Cas. His Cas. The Cas that he wanted to protect from anything ever hurting him again.

            Cas sighed deeply and nuzzled into the red shirt. He started to feel the sense of inadequacy fade away. Dean was showing him affection, and not in a sexual way, but a way that Cas hadn’t felt in a long time. He felt safe.

            The bell rang and they broke apart, Cas leaning in for one last peck before turning for the door.

            “Wait!” Dean called after him, “Here’s my number. And after work, we are heading up to the mall and getting you a cell phone. That way I don’t have to creep around your place anymore” Cas started to protest but Dean headed him off. “No ifs ands or buts.”

            “Thank you Dean.” Cas said with a warm smile, and headed to his class.

 

                                                            ~~~~~~~

            After the school day ended, Cas met Dean at his car.

            “You ready to go?” Dean asked, smiling because he had actually had a good day. The students were pretty well behaved, and Garth had kept his distance. Even though it was obvious trepidation from the other days melt down, Dean didn’t care. It just meant he didn’t have to fake liking the guy.

            “I am. Thank you once again Dean.”

            “I can’t very well have my boyfriend going around with no way to contact me if he gets himself into trouble...” Dean realized what he had said and looked at Cas wide eyed.

            “B-boyfriend?” Cas stuttered out.

            “Cas, I didn’t mean it like that... I just mean... well... I like you and It kinda slipped out...” Dean felt his cheeks turn bright red. Almost as red as the shirt.

            “I like the sounds of that Dean... I’d like to be your...boyfriend...” Cas said as Dean looked up from the pile of rocks he was digging at nervously with his boot.

            “Cas, I don’t want to pressure you.... if you don’t want that...”

            “I do Dean. I want that!”

            they jumped in Dean’s car and headed up to the mall. They shopped around and Cas finally decided on a cheapo flip phone. Dean had tried to talk him into a newer type, but Cas was not going to let Dean spend TOO much on him. So Cas went home with an LG A341.

            Once in the car, and after programming Dean’s number into the phone, he pulled out his small address book to call his brothers and give them his number.

            “Hey Gabe, it’s Cas... yeah I’m fine...seriously...I just wanted to call to give you my number...yeah I finally got a phone...yes you can text me...so do you have the number...great, I’ll talk to you later.”

            After a smililar conversation with Luc, Dean dropped him off at his car. After a quick kiss and a promise that Cas would come over later, they drove off.

            Dean felt pretty good about today, he liked doing things for Cas, and Cas seemed to take his mind off the shit he had to deal with. It was like they helped eachother limp along.

            Dean parked the car and headed into his apartment. It seemed so dark and dreary after Cas’s open and lit place. Dean opened the blinds, coughing and sneezing as a weeks worth of dust flew into his face. There was a knock at the door, making him jump a tiny bit, _whoa, easy Winchester, you are ok._

            “Coming.” He called as he hooked the blinds so they would stay up. He opened the door and saw Cas. Tears streaming down his pale face, once again looking like the scared boy in the picture.

            “Babe! What’s wrong!?” Dean asked, worried. Cas fell into his arms and sobbed, unable to speak.

            “Shhhh baby, I got you. No one’s gonna hurt you.” Dean cooed at Cas, stroking his hair and rubbing his back.

            “Ga-Gabe called. They-they’re letting Michael out of p-prison.”

            

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry... always sorry.   
> We may see more of the Dean from the show come out next chapter. Gotta protect his man.


	9. Chapter 9

            “Shhh, I got you.” Dean whispered into the top of Cas’s head as he sobbed. They were letting him out. After all the fucking evidence the police had. He really hadn’t been lying when he had said that the town loved him. Cas knew that this day was coming, there was no way he could be lucky enough for this to be over. He stood there in Dean’s arms and listened to the steady rhythm of his heart. Breathe in...breathe out...breathe in...breathe out... His eyes slowly closed and he breathed in Dean’s scent. He smelled like man, Cas, and the vanilla body wash Cas had washed him with this morning. His breathing got steadier as Dean rubbed up and down his back.

            Cas let go of Dean and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. “Can we just go sit on the couch or something?”

            “Yeah, of course we can. We can do anything you want. I can make us food if you’re hungry?” Dean said, keeping a hold of Cas’s hand.

            “I’m not really that hungry.” Cas said as he moved to the couch and curled up into the fetal position.

            “Hey babe, Don’t shut down on me.” Dean cooed and sat down, pulling Cas’s head into his lap to stroke his hair.

            “I don’t want to be alone, but I do. I know if I am, I’ll just do something stupid.”

            Dean tensed up. “What do you mean by something stupid?” He asked quietly. Cas sat up, and unbuttoned the bottom button of his sleeve, rolling it up gently to his elbow. He lifted his arm and showed Dean multiple scars, ranging in colour from white to angry purple.

            “I didn’t want to die. I just wanted something to remind me I was still alive.” He said, avoiding eye contact.

            “How come I didn’t notice these before?” Dean asked, running his thumb over the deepest, darkest scar near Cas’s wrist.

            “I got good at hiding them.” Cas said almost inaudibly, “I wear sleeves, always in public, and when I don’t I can usually get away with hiding them somehow.”

            “So if you were alone, you would do this?”

            “Probably. I haven’t done it in months, but that was before... all this shit happened... The one you’re touching was the last one.”

            “I swear to fucking god I will kill him.”

            “What would that solve? It would just get you into shit if you hurt him.” Cas said, eyes flashing. “I don’t need you getting yourself thrown into jail for beating up my asshole brother.” This was more about caring about Dean than protecting Michael. Dean was the only thing holding Cas together right now and he couldn’t lose him.

            “Alright” Dean said, squinting his eyes in an unconvinced manner, “But for now you are staying with me. I’m the one with the military training.” _And the anger to bash his face in._

            “If I’m staying, I need some stuff from my apartment...”

            “I’ll go. You stay here... and...don’t do anything stupid...” Dean’s eyes had a pleading look to them. Cas couldn’t hurt him by hurting himself. As much as he wanted to. Cas handed the keys to Dean, “I won’t.”

            After Dean had left, (locking the door behind him and giving Cas strict instructions not to open it for anyone but him, and that he would text first.) Cas stripped down to boxers, threw on a tee shirt of Dean’s, crawled into bed, pulled the covers over his head and cried.

           

            Dean slid the key into the lock on Cas’s door and walked in. He sighed as he set the duffle bag he had brought with him on Cas’s bed. He grabbed a few pairs of boxers, tee shirts, dress shirts, pants and an old pair of sweats he found in the bottom of a drawer. If Cas needed anything else, Dean would come back. He wasn’t letting Cas out of his sight for a good while if he could help it. He knew he sounded possessive, and frankly he gave 2 flaming fucks. He’d rather be that guy who was over protective, than have his boyfriend’s rapist find him.

            He grabbed Cas’s toothbrush, and deodorant and threw them on top of the bag. He paused and looked at the picture with Cas’s parents. Michael’s face seemed to be leering at him through the glass. The slick smile and hand on Cas’s shoulder made him sick to his stomach.

            “I bet you were already planning the shit you were going to do to him you fuckface. I promise you, you will never lay a hand on him or speak to him again, or I will kill you.” He turned the picture around before walking out the door.

           

            Cas had cried until he fell asleep, only woken up by his phone vibrating underneath the pillow

**_Dean W: Its me. let me in._**

**_You: ok._ **

            He swung his legs over the edge of the bed, not bothering to put pants on before walking to the door. He unlocked the deadbolt after checking the peephole to make sure it really was Dean out there. **Here comes the paranoia. Fuck.**

            “Were you sleeping?” Dean asked shrugging off his coat, glancing at Cas’s arm. Nothing new. Good.

            “Yeah. I just can’t deal with anything right now.

            “Then let’s go back to bed.”

            They crawled back under the covers, Cas resting his head on Dean’s chest. Dean listened to Cas’s breaths get deeper and more rhythmic until he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to shootingstar1196 for making me actually think about how I was writing. I hope chapter 9 is better :D Chapter 10 I have a lot planned for, so it's gonna make up for the length of 9 :D


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOT EVEN KIDDING GUYS. ALL OF THE WARNINGS.  
> Flash backs of sexual abuse, Self Injury, descriptions of being held hostage and tortured.  
> It's all plot, but I couldn't post this chapter without putting some hardcore warnings on this Mofo.

 

            Dean woke up in the middle of the night to Cas’s heavy breathing and small whimpers, eyes shut tight and gripping Dean’s bicep tightly.

            “Hey, you ok?” he whispered. No response. He shook Cas’s shoulder gently, “hey Cas, wake up, you’re having a nightmare.”

            “Huh!?” Cas awoke with a start.

            “You were dreaming.”

            “Oh. Sorry.”

            “Don’t be sorry,” Dean said, kissing the top of Cas’s head. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

            “Not really.” Cas said sleepily, and rolling over. Dean understood. Lord knows he has stuff he doesn’t want to talk about. Curling up behind Cas, he rested his head in between Cas’s shoulder blades and closed his eyes. He couldn’t imagine the pain Cas was in. He sighed, pulled Cas in tighter and drifted off into a fitful sleep.

 

                                                            ~~~~~~

 

            Cas woke up to Dean’s absence. Panicking that Dean hadn’t woken him up for work. He ran to the bathroom to get in the shower. Dean had taped a note to the bathroom door.

            **_Cas, I called chuck and told him you were sick. I figured you didn’t want this_**

**_whole shit show out. You have a sub for the next two days. Chuck isn’t mad_ **

**_so don’t freak out. I will text you at break. –D_ **

           

            Cas smiled as he read the note written in Dean’s messy printing. **This guy is perfect.** His good humour was ripped away by the remembrance of his dream. He was 8 or 9, the first time Michael had raped him. Actually raped him. He remembered tensing up as the door to his bedroom had opened slowly and quietly. Michael had snuck in and closed the door silently behind him. Cas had pretended to be asleep as he usually did. He felt the bed dip and Michael’s hand reach down his pyjama bottoms. That’s when Dean had woken him. He wasn’t ready to talk about the acts that he had been subjected to, to anyone. It was bad enough he had had to testify against him in court as a teenager, he wasn’t ready to verbalize it again.

His phone buzzed against the wooden bedside table back in the bedroom, reverberating through out the apartment. **Note to self, don’t leave your phone there.**

 

            **_Dean W: you awake?_**

****

**_You: Yes. thank you for calling chuck._ **

****

**_Dean W: anytime. you ok?_ **

****

**_You: as much as can be expected. Im sorry about the nightmare._ **

****

**_Dean W: its fine. I hope youre ok._ **

****

**_Dean W: I have to prep for my next class. I’ll come home @ lunch._ **

****

**_You: Ok. See you soon._ **

****

            Cas pulled on a pair of Dean’s sweats. The ones Dean had grabbed he hadn’t worn in months. They didn’t sit right on him. And he really just wanted something of Dean’s on right now. He flopped down on the couch, and grabbed the remote. Settling on an episode of _Dr. Sexy M.D._ (don’t tell anyone), he curled into a ball and stared at the TV. , not even really watching. How the fuck did he get out? Anger welled up inside of him. This asshole had taken a child, a fucking child, and ruined him. He had taken a kid who’s world had just been turned upside down, and made him believe, for almost 20 years, that the only thing he was good for was sex. He still believed it. He couldn’t hold the tears anymore, they came streaming down his face. Hot and full of fury. Shoving his face into the arm of the couch, he screamed. Screamed until he was hoarse.

 

            Dean turned the key in the lock of his apartment. He had worried about Cas all day. He had to give Garth his phone so he wouldn’t be tempted to text him when in class, even then he had just popped a movie on for his first 3 classes and sat there staring out the window. Garth had finally started to be friendly to him again, offering a student fetched coffee again today, which Dean had actually accepted. Now that Cas had spent the majority of nights with him, he had actually gotten sleep. Except for tonight, that is. Walking into the apartment he noticed the TV was on to a _Dr. Sexy M.D._ episode. _Seriously Cas? THIS is your choice in TV?_ Dean couldn’t say much, he may or may not have watched this episode himself.

            “Hey Cas-“ He said looking over the couch. Cas wasn’t there. He checked in the bedroom, no Cas.

            “CAS?!” He called out.

            “Dean...” Cas replied from the bathroom. The door was partially closed, but open just enough for Dean to see Cas’s feet, and head in his hands.

            “Hey, you-“ Dean’s greeting was cut off short when he saw Cas’s arm.

            “I’m sorry!” Cas looked up at him with his tear stained face, lip slightly quivering, once again reminding Dean of the small boy from the picture. Cas’s arm was torn up and bleeding. Three linear wounds were still actively bleeding, just above the deep purple one.

            “I couldn’t deal... you were gone and...the dream I had.... and I was angry that all I’m good for is sex...”

            “Oh my god Cas that is so not true!”

            “It is! I knew you for three fucking minutes before I sucked your fucking cock!” Cas’s eyes filled with tears and flashed a view of the pain he held inside himself.

            “I was the one that kissed you...” Dean said, getting up to get a cold wash cloth for Cas’s arm. Cas remained silent, because it was true. Dean had been the one who had kissed him. Although it didn’t justify sucking his dick. Dean returned with the cloth, antiseptic, antibiotic ointment and gauze.

            “Why do you have all this stuff?” Cas asked.

            “You’ve seen my brother... this isn’t the first time I’ve patched someone up.” Dean pressed the cloth to the wounds, applying steady pressure until the stopped bleeding. He dabbed them with the antiseptic and Cas hissed at the sting.

            “I know, this shit hurts like a bitch. I’m sorry” Dean mumbled, and applied the ointment and wrapped up Cas’s arm. sitting back on his heels, he sat next to Cas on the floor.

            “Dean...”

            “Yeah Cas?” Dean had a feeling he knew the question that was coming. It was ok, Cas deserved to know.

            “What happened over there?”

            Dean sighed. He had figured this day was coming. He had to talk about it. Cas had told him about what happened to him. Not that he felt it was tit for tat, but Cas needed to know. “I was in Afghanistan, so was Sam. Not in the same company, but we were on the same base. His company was out patrolling and a roadside bomb went off next to the armoured truck Sam was in. He was thrown in the explosion and was the only one to survive. When he was thrown, he had broken a few dozen bones and was unable to get back to base. We sent out a party to look for him, but we couldn’t find him. We couldn’t find him because he had been taken hostage by some insurgents, they sent us a video the next day to prove they had him. Cas, he was so bloody and beaten.” Dean paused to take a deep breath and rub his eyes. He hadn’t spoken about this to anyone. “I had just happened to be walking by the room when they watched the video, I wasn’t supposed to see it. Needless to say, I flipped shit and went AWOL. I went out and tried to find him. I eventually did, but it turns out they wanted me more than they wanted Sam. They had me in a dark room where I could hear what they were doing to Sammy.” Dean’s breath hitched and he let it out slowly. “They thought I had information that I didn’t. Instead of torturing me, they just let me hear Sam getting beaten, electrocuted... Cas, they raped him too. They beat me, but nothing like they did to Sam.”

            Cas looked at Dean with shock, “Holy fuck Dean. How did you and he survive?!”

            “It took them a week, but they finally found out where we were being held and the stormed the building. We were airlifted to the Landstuhl army hospital in Germany. I was released after about two weeks with instructions to get a therapist when I was back home. Sammy was there for 6 months.” Dean looked over at Cas and held his gaze. “I have never told anyone what happened over there. Not even my Dad. He blames me for not getting Sammy out. He understands what war is like, where he was in ‘Nam, but he can’t seem to understand how it effected Sammy. He doesn’t bother calling or visiting anymore. He has another kid with Kate, I guess he figures I can ‘deal’ with Sammy, while he has a second chance to raise a kid.”

            “I guess we both have our shit to deal with.” Cas said, lifting Dean’s chin to kiss him, “You made it through, so did Sam. Someday, Sam will be better.”

            “I don’t know about that. I should have gotten to him sooner. Maybe if I had, he wouldn’t be as bad off as he is.”

            “Don’t blame yourself, you tried.”

            “I don’t blame myself too much now, I’m the only person Sam has left, I can’t let myself get in too deep.” Dean said, with a finality to the subject. “So, I can’t leave you here while I am at work. So, I am going to call and see how the big guy is doing, and if he’s up to a visitor, and if he is, I’m taking you to hang out with Sam.”

            Cas was actually ok with this. He agreeded with Dean that he really couldn’t be left alone, and a hospital seemed to be the safest place. Dean pulled out his phone and called the hospital.

            “Hi, yeah, this is Dean Winchester, Can I speak to whichever nurse is with my brother, Sam today, Thanks.... Hi, who am I speaking to? Jess? This is Sam’s brother Dean, is Sam up to a visitor today?...He is. Awesome...And he's out of lock down!? Even more awesome!... no it won’t be me, it’s my boyfriend... Castiel Novak... Yes he knows to have his ID ready... Thank you Jess. Bye.” Dean stood up and offered a hand to Cas to help him off the floor. “Throw a sweatshirt on, I’m dropping you off.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL I AM GONNA GO READ SOME FLUFF.  
> I'm sorry. My heart hurts and I cried more during this chapter than I have in anything in this fic.
> 
> I am seriously, seriously sorry. I am a happy person! I don't know where all this sad is coming from!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FLUFFY PORNS  
> and by fluffy I mean there is no active bad shit that happens.

 

            Cas stepped out of Dean’s car when they reached the hospital. Dean had dropped him off with a quick kiss and a promise to pick him up when school was over. Cas wrapped his jacket around himself and walked into the main lobby. Cas felt really awkward going to hang out with his _very_ new boyfriend’s brother whom he had met once, and under very different circumstances.

            “Um...I’m Castiel Novak... I’m here to see Sam Winchester.” Cas said, head bowed and eyes staring at the beat up sneakers of Dean’s that he wore on his feet. The pretty blonde nurse looked up from her paperwork and smiled warmly at him.

            “I spoke to Sam’s brother on the phone! I’m Sam’s nurse Jess,” She extended a hand from over the desk. Castiel took it and shook it. “I have to check your ID before we go back though, just protocol.” Cas took his drivers license from his wallet and handed it to her. She checked the name and picture before handing it back to him.

            “He’s back in the day room. Today’s been a pretty awesome day for him,” She said glancing over her shoulder at Cas. “We can usually tell how he’s doing day by day by the number of smiles he gives to the nurses. He’s a pretty big flirt on a good day.” Cas couldn’t help but smile.  They walked down a different hallway than they had when they had the other night. This one was brightly lit and had artwork hanging on the wall. Jess opened the door at the end of the hall and walked through.

            “I’ll be at the nurse’s station if you need anything.”

            “Thank you”

            Sam was sitting alone at a table by the window. He had looked up and smiled at Jess when they had walked in. Cas walked over and sat down across from Sam.

            “So... Hi?” Cas said awkwardly. He had met this guy once, and he was pretty sure he had been so drugged up that he didn’t remember much of it.

            “Hey... Cas, right?” Sam smiled a welcoming smile. Cas was amazed by the difference in the man.

            “Uh yeah... Dean’s... friend.”

            “Yeah, I kinda remember you” Sam pushed his brown, floppy hair out of his eyes, “So what brings you to my little slice of crazy?”

            Cas shifted in his seat. Should he tell Sam what he had done? He wasn’t about to tell him why, and that Dean had spilled the beans on Kandahar.

            “You don’t need to worry about me flipping out again, Dean must be worried about you if he sent you to come hang out with me.” Cas tensed up. Did Sam know about he and Dean? “C’mon dude, I might be a bit messed up, but I know my brother. I know he likes guys a hell of a lot more than chicks. I’m pretty sure I knew years ago. He admitted it yet?”

            “Not verbally.” Cas admitted.

            “I see, well let me tell you what I know. I know you are either my brother’s boyfriend, or you guys haven’t labelled it yet. I am about 75% sure he told you about what happened. Don’t look at me like that, it’s his story too. What I don’t know is why he doesn’t trust you to be alone. Obviously he’s at work and you’re not. I’m guessing you have some skeletons in your closet too.”

            Cas sat there silent and amazed at Sam’s ability to read not only Dean, but the situation. All from one drugged up meeting.

            “So why doesn’t he trust you alone?” Sam asked point blankly.

            “Because...” **dammit.** “Because I cut this afternoon in his bathroom.”

            “Why?” Sam asked, aghast.

            “Because my abuser was released from prison yesterday.” **If he told one Winchester, might as well tell them both.** “My brother actually”

            “Shit. That’s not cool. You got anyone to talk to about this? Someone with the ability to help you through it?”

            “Yeah. I do.”

            “Good.”

 

 

                                                            ~~~~~~~

 

            Dean texted Cas when he was leaving the school.

           

**_Sent: Hey, you ready? Ill be there in about 10_ **

****

**_Cas: Yeah, I’m ready._ **

****

**_Sent: How’s Sam?_ **

****

**_Cas: Good. I really like him_ **

****

**_Sent: hes a cool guy._ **

           

            Dean closed his phone and opened the door to his car. He was worried about Cas. He had never really understood the draw of hurting yourself because you were hurting. But he was not about to question anything about Cas.

            He pulled into the parking lot just as Cas was walking out. He had a huge smile on his face and it warmed Dean’s heart. _Looks like Sammy had an impact_.

            “Hey! You look like you had a good time.”  Cas leaned over and kissed him quickly before buckling himself in.

            “Yeah, your brother is kinda awesome.”

            The smile on Cas’s face made Dean’s heart soar. Holding the steering wheel in his left hand, he grabbed Cas’s hand with his right, pulled it up to his lips and planted a kiss in the middle of it. Out of his peripheral vision, he saw Cas blush.

            “ I’m gonna say something and you can’t talk until I am finished, ok?” Dean said, weaving his fingers through Cas’s.

            “Ok.” Cas said questioning, his blush was replaced by all the blood running from his face giving him an ashen grey hue.

            “You scared me today, and while I can’t pretend to understand why you and Sam hurt yourselves, I can be a person you can come to if you need someone to listen to you, to hold you, or just be in the same room as you. I can’t imagine the shit you went through, and I won’t pretend I do, I just want you to know that I will be there for you. Day or night. Let me look after you.”

            “Thank you Dean, it means a lot that I can call you whenever I need you.”

            “I hope you can just roll over and talk to me” Dan said with a charming smile.

            Cas clutched the hand he held in his own. **Don’t say it. You can’t love him this fast. Plus, right now is not the time to think about making this go faster than it already is.**

            Dean pulled into his parking space and got out of the car, Cas right behind him. Seeing Cas smile when he picked him up had made him realize just how much he was feeling for the smaller man. He wanted to pick him up and bring him into his room and have his way with him, but he was afraid to scare Cas after he had had all these memories come back.

            Cas walked into the small apartment and grabbed Dean around the waist, standing on tip toes to nuzzle at Dean’s neck.

            “Well hello” Dean said through a smile, and pressing his lips to Cas’s. Cas nibbled at Dean’s lower lip until Dean granted him entrance to his mouth, his tongue exploring every inch of Dean’s mouth. Dean moaned into Cas’s mouth when Cas slid his hands down Dean’s sides and down his pants, grabbing his ass. Dean had never seen Cas take control like this before, and he liked it. _really_ liked it.

            “Casssss” Dean hissed when Cas’s hands started to undo his belt and fly, letting them drape open. Cas hissed as Dean slid his hand down the front of the sweats and boxers, slowly jerking his hard, swollen cock.

            “Cas, are you sure?” Dean asked through his gritted teeth as Cas’s jerked him.  
            “ I’m sure Dean.” Cas replied, a cocky edge to his voice.  He took Dean’s belt and guided him gently to the bedroom, tossing him onto the bed. Cas took his time stripping Dean of his clothes, kissing every patch of exposed skin as he went. Once Dean was naked and writhing on the bed, Cas took off his shirt and pants, straddling Dean and pressing their erections together. Dean moaned at the contact, his hips bucking up, searching for more.

            “Cas... I-I want you” Dean moaned as Cas reached down and stroked the underside of Dean’s twitching cock. “I can see that Dean, what are you going to do about it?” This new, dominant side of Cas was making him ache with want. “Nothing, I want you to do something about it.” Dean moaned into Cas’s mouth as he kissed him.

            “What do you want me to do about it Dean?” Cas had a feeling he knew, but he wanted to hear it. He wanted to hear those pretty lips tell him it was ok to take back control.

            “I want you- you to f-fuck me! I want to feel you inside me!” Dean nearly screamed. Cas groaned as Dean said exactly what he needed him to say. He needed to take control, he needed to be dominant. Cas leaned over to the bedside table, grabbing the bottle of lube and slicking up a finger, laying the bottle down beside him. He kissed Dean and slowly circled his finger around Dean’s hole. Dean tensed up subconsciously. “Shhhh babe, relax for me, I won’t hurt you.” Cas murmured, laying a hand on Dean’s stomach. Dean relaxed and Cas gently introduced his slick finger, thrusting it in and out until Dean relaxed after the first intrusion.

            “Look at you, all perfect and tight for me.” Cas was in his element. He enjoyed bottoming as well, but on top he was free. He removed the first finger, chuckling as Dean whined at the loss. He lubed up a second finger and introduced it along with the first. Dean gasped and slipped his hand down and stroked his hand along his swollen, leaking cock. Cas batted his hand away and pressed a kiss to the swollen, red head while scissoring his fingers inside of Dean.

            “Cas, Cas please...I need to feel you...” Dean pleaded.

            “You’re not open enough babe, it would still hurt a lot.” Cas explained while thrusting his fingers inside.

            “Please.... Please hurry!” Cas looked up at the writhing man underneath him, his green eyes almost black with want and pleasure. Cas took the lube and lubed up his third finger before pressing it into Dean, stroking his prostate on the way. Dean arched off the bed with a yell.

            “CAS! I NEED YOU IN ME!” Dean wanted so bad that he was close to tears, giving over control to Cas was the best decision of his life so far.

            Cas grabbed the lube for the last time and slicked up his cock. He lifted Dean’s hips and settled in between his legs.

            “Relax babe, just breathe.” Then he pressed in slowly. Dean had never experienced anything like this. A fullness growing stronger as Cas pushed in, inch by inch. Cas’s eyes met Deans and held them. He could see the pleasure and a slight twinge of pain, but in the background he was something like adoration.

            Dean groaned as Cas became fully seated inside of him. “You ok?” Cas asked.

            “More than ok, Cas, MOVE!” Dean hissed through gritted teeth. Cas withdrew slightly and slowly thrust back in. “OH MY FUCKING GOD! CASSSSSS!” Dean kept his eyes firmly on Cas’s while the smaller man started thrusting inside of him. Dean had never felt this much pleasure before. A steady stream of “Fuckfuckfuckfuckcascascascas” dribbled from his mouth before Cas leaned down and kissed him, the angle changing as Cas’s body moved.

            “Oh my god Dean, you are so fucking tight!” Cas groaned as he felt his orgasm pooling in his stomach. “Dean, I’m gonna come Dean!” Cas reached down and stroked Dean’s still swollen, leaking dick until they both came in unison, Dean’s cock painting his stomach and Cas’s hand. Cas filling him with his own come.

            Cas withdrew and licked off Dean’s stomach while Dean came down from his huge orgasm.

            “Fuck Cas, fuck Cas, fuck Cas” was all he could manage to say as he rolled over and took Cas in his arms.

            “I know babe, I know.” Cas knew that that wasn’t having sex anymore. Not with all those emotions they both had. He knew he had them, and Dean’s eyes had betrayed him by giving away that he held more than just sexual attraction. They were officially making love. Cas stroked Dean’s hair, Dean lifted his head from Cas’s chest and kissed him, deeply and passionately. They broke apart and Dean’s head returned to Cas’s chest.

            Cas pressed his lips to the top of Dean’s head, and whispered his favorite song. Which now had new meaning in this moment. This moment where he realized he loved Dean.

            _Your voice, was the soundtrack of my summer, do you know you’re unlike any other? You’ll always be my thunder. Your eyes are the brightest of all the colours, I dont wanna ever love another, you’ll always be my thunder, so bring on the rain, and bring on the thunder._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so... THAT HAPPENED.  
> I have SOOOO much homework to do in the next few weeks, that I doubt very highly that chapter 12 will be up anytime soon.  
> Also, The song Cas whispers is "Thunder" by Boys Like Girls. Awesome song.  
> once again, thanks for reading! <3


	12. Chapter 12

    Dean woke up part way through the night spooning Cas in front of him. He nuzzled into Cas’s hair, breathing in the scent of his shampoo, sweat and the scent that was distinctly Cas.  
    “Shhh, It’s not morning yet.” Dean whispered as Cas stirred and mumbled in his arms.  How could this man with so much baggage walk into his life, grab his heart and work his way into it so quickly? His heart swelled as he settled his head back into the pillow and listened to Cas’s even, steady breathing.  
  
    Dean went through his morning routine the next morning quietly, not wanting to wake Cas who had the day off. He made a cup of coffee and sat at the table sipping it out of the travel mug, staring off into space. He half thought about just ditching work and going to work on the impala. No. He was an adult. That would have been something he would have done ten years ago. He hadn’t been the greatest young person. Between the drinking, and the drugs and the sex. Oh god the sex. He had been with so many girls when he was young. Now he felt awful about it, but back then he had figured himself a player. He knew he was good looking and he used that to get the acceptance he so desperately craved. He had wanted someone to be the one to take care of him, when he had to take care of Sam when Dad took off, leaving them with Bobby and Ellen. He was honestly very surprised he didn’t have at least one kid out there.  
    He grabbed his coat and pulled it on as he walked back into the bedroom to kiss Cas goodbye and tell him he was leaving.  
    “Hey,” he whispered, pushing Cas’s dark hair off of his forehead and leaning down to kiss him. “I’m leaving, I’ll be back around 4.” Cas mumbled and opened his eyes and smiled up at Dean.  
    “Have a good day” Cas smiled, voice thick with sleep.  
    “I will, I’ll text you later”  
    “Ok”  
    Dean shoved his boots on and walked out of the apartment, closing the door tightly behind him.  
  
                    ~~~~~~~  
    Cas woke up about an hour and a half after Dean had left. He stretched and pulled on a pair of boxers and a tee shirt. Picking up his phone he shot off a text to his brother Gabriel.  
  
 **You: Hey Gabe**  
  
 **Gabe: Hey Cassie, what's up.**  
  
 **You: Just got up**  
  
 **Gabe: No school today?**  
  
 **You: not for me. had a rough day the day before last. Obviously.**  
  
 **Gabe: Yeah... you ok?**  
  
 **You: Not really.**  
  
 **You: But Dean's been good. Shit happened yesterday. He handled it like a pro.**  
  
 **Gabe: what kind of shit?**  
  
 **You: You know what kind of shit.**  
  
 **Gabe: Dammit Castiel. You still doing that bullshit?**  
  
    Cas was not about to fight with his brother over his methods of dealing. This was his fight and Gabe could fuck off for all he cared. He was going to be alone in this. Anger on Gabe's part was not helpful in this, if anything it made him feel worse.  
  
 **Gabe: Dean's the new BF?**  
  
 **You: ...yeah.**  
  
 **Gabe: good for you Cassie.**  
  
 **You: Can you please not call me Cassie?**  
  
    Cassie was the name Gabe and Luc had given him years ago when a kindly elderly woman had mistaken Cas for a girl on account of Michael not getting him a haircut when he had desperately needed it. It had stuck and Cas hated it.  
  
 **Gabe: sry. I gotta get back to work. I'll text you later.**  
  
 **You: ok.**  
  
    Cas sat on the couch where he had sat down when he came out of the bedroom. He stared into space for a while, playing with his phone in his hands. Should he call Luc? Luc was the brother who knew the information on Michael's release. He wanted to know where he had been released to, to make sure he didn't find him. The last thing in his life he needed was a visit from him.  
    Finally he gave in and dialed Luc's number.  
     _"Lucifer Novak."_  
    "Hello Luc"  
     _"Castiel, what do I owe the pleasure of this phone call? I assume you want information from me."_  
    "Yes Luc, I do. I just want to know I am safe where I am and that he doesn't know what town I am in." Cas said to his older brother.  
    " _Yes, Cas, you are safe. He is in our hometown. In a halfway house. He is hours away from you."_  
    Cas let out a huge sigh of relief. He needed someone to tell him it was ok to go back about his business without looking over his shoulder.  
    "Thank you Luc. I needed that."  
     _"I know Cassie. Just play it safe until we know how he's doing in the house. I don't want to dash your hopes of normality, I just don't want you to be out alone and have him decide to figure out where you are. He talks about you a lot."_  
    Cas tensed up at the last 5 words. Why the fuck was Michael talking about him? He felt sick.  
    "Ok. I'll play it safe." Cas hung up the phone after the appropriate pleasantries had been exchanged. He went into the bedroom to get some clothes on, picked up his phone and called the number of a taxi company to take him home.  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
    Dean had arrived at work with a few minutes to spare. After accepting a coffee from Garth (he had to admit, the guy was pretty handy when it came to caffeinating ones self), he took out his lesson plan and prepared the hand outs he was giving to his first period class.  
    "So Mister Winchester," a smarmy voice with a British accent said from the doorway, "a little birdy told me you have a new toy."  
    "That's really not any of your business, Crowley." Dean didn't even bother looking up from stapling the handouts. "and who ever that birdy was, didn't know enough to keep their nose out of someone else's personal life."  
    "That may be true Dean, but I'm sure the administration would have an issue with you starting a romantic homosexual relationship with a colleague." Crowley said, a sly, devious smile creeping over his face.  
    "Do we even work at the same school, Fergus? Because I am fairly certain any sexual orientation I may or may not have is not grounds for dismissal." Dean snapped. If looks could kill, Crowley would be dead.  
    "Even if it's not, I will make your working life hell."  
    "Why? Why do you care? It's not hurting you any."  
    "Because, Dean, I have a reputation to uphold, and if it was found out that I am working with two men in a relationship, that could hurt how I am perceived in, let's say, higher circles. Something to think about." And with that, he left. Leaving Dean to fume alone in his class.  
  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
    Cas's taxi dropped him off at his apartment. There on the steps sat a medium sized box, wrapped in brown paper, addressed to him. **That's odd** , he thought, and picked it up to bring it inside. He set the box down on the kitchen table and went to pack some more clothes to bring back with him to Dean's apartment. He threw a bunch of dress pants, ties and dress shirts into the duffle he had brought with him. Zipping it closed, he made his way back to the kitchen and the box. **I'll bring it with me back to Dean's** he thought to himself. He held the fairly light box under his arm while he locked the door and got into the car. Once back at Dean's he sat the box on the table and forgot about it.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
    Cas's phone buzzed around 3:30.  
      
     **Dean W: I'm on my way back. Everything ok with you?**  
  
 **You: Yes Dean, everything is fine. I went home to grab a few things for tomorrow.**  
  
 **Dean W: ok. Im glad everything is fine. I will see you in a few.**  
  
    Dean walked into his apartment and found Cas making a lesson plan for the next day when he had to return to work.  
    "Hey babe, everything go ok when you went home?" Dean asked, slightly worried by the fact Cas was wearing long sleeves.  
    "Yeah, everything went fine. I did find this weird box on my doorstep though."  
    "Did you open it?"  
    "No. I was waiting for you to come back... after this week, I'm not sure if I want to open random packages alone."  
    Dean looked at the box on the kitchen table. "Should we open it?" he asked.  
    "Might as well." Cas replied.  
    Dean picked up the box and gingerly peeled back the layer of taped paper. It was a shoe box. Dean shook it gently, listening to the sliding sound of paper on cardboard. Cas looked over Dean's shoulder as Dean lifted the lid off of the box, revealing paper and what looked to be photographs. Every single one of the pictures was of Cas, ages ranging from about 8 to 14.  
    Cas's heart stopped and his blood ran cold. He knew exactly who this was from and he rushed to the bathroom to vomit into the toilet. Dean picked up one of the pieces of paper and read the first line before he had to stop, anger welling up inside of him.  
  
    The inside of the shoe box had one line written in permanent marker.  
    "I missed you little bro."  
  
  
      
      


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update. School and stuffs. I actually procrastinated from anthropology by writing this chapter.  
> Also, computer issues made it so I had to use a different word processor to write this on... so if spelling and shit is off, its because I can't spell to save my life, MWord just corrects if for me. :)


	13. Chapter 13

 Dean paced around his apartment; Cas had come out of the bathroom and was sitting on the floor, back against the small space of wall between Dean’s bedroom and the bathroom door.

       “You are going no where alone except to work and back here. He knows where you live, Cas.” Dean blurted out. Normally he would care how that statement would come across and try to avoid the possessiveness it implied, but this was no ordinary situation.  There was no fucking way Dean Winchester was going to let his boyfriend come to harm.

       Cas’ brain was going a million miles a minute. How did Michael know where he had moved? Gabe hadn’t told him as far as he knew. Luc hadn’t either. What the fuck did Michael want? He wasn’t a boy anymore, something Michael was into…obviously. His heart raced and he drummed the floor with his fingertips to try and release some of the pent up energy mixed with fear. He wasn’t going to cut. No. Dean already saw him like that.

       “No Dean, I won’t go anywhere.” Cas said void of any emotion while staring at the linear pattern of the couch. How could he go anywhere? Michael knew where he lived. Cas looked at his foot tapping out a frantic rhythm on the old, flat carpet. Taptaptap. _Breathe. Don’t let him see you cry. You are the rock here. He’s already patched you up once. Patched you up because you couldn’t handle this shit. You worthless piece of shit._

           Dean watched while Cas tapped his foot and spaced out. He sat down next to the smaller, shaking man and rested his hand on Cas’ trembling thigh.

       “You ok Castiel?” Cas jumped at the use of his full name. He looked up and kept Dean’s gaze. He needed to take back some control and the best way he knew how to control situations, was with sex. His eyes dropped to Dean’s lips and back up to his eyes. Leaning forward he pressed his lips to Dean’s, trying desperately to ease his pain with pleasure.

       The kiss took Dean by surprise. One minute Cas had been shaking and in obvious pain, and the next he was coming on to him? Cas’ hands moved steadily up into Dean’s hair, grabbing the short brown strands. He moaned wantonly as their tongues finally met. Dean hardened in his pants, his body reacting to the sounds Cas was making, but his mind still wondered how Cas could turn his emotions around so quickly.

       Cas’ hands dropped from Dean’s hair. To his chest. Then finally to his fly before Dean pulled away and grabbed Cas’ hands.

       “Why are you doing this, Cas?” Dean asked, still keeping eye contact with Cas’ blue eyes. Cas dropped his gaze, shame filling the space where the relief had been.

       “I-It’s all I’m good for.” Cas whispered, looking down at Dean’s hand grasping his wrist.

       Dean dropped Cas’ wrist and stared at Cas, stunned. How could the guy he had fallen in love with (Wait, since when was he admitting that?), the guy who literally picked him up off the ground, could think that he was only good for sex?

       “How can you think that? You are so much than what you think you are! You are an amazing teacher, an awesome brother, and I…I love you.” The words fell out of Dean’s mouth before he could catch them. He held his breath and waited for Cas to react.

       Cas’ heart nearly stopped when he heard those three little words he hadn’t heard in years. He loved Dean, he knew he did. But He couldn’t bring himself to actually say those words. Even though he had been thinking it for a long time.

       “ Dean… I…I understand how you feel, I just can’t say that right now. I’m not ready.”

       “That’s ok, I’ll be here when you are.”

 

 

                               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

       Weeks passed and Michael hadn't been heard from since the box had been delivered to Cas’ apartment. Which had now become Dean and Cas’ apartment. It was closer to the school and the hospital for when they visited Sam. The decision had been made when Dean’s upstairs neighbor moved out, and a couple who fought constantly moved in. The night they fought until 3am and proceeded to have extremely loud make up sex was the last straw. They moved Dean’s stuff out the next day. His lease wasn't up for another 6 months so he still had to pay rent.

       Dean watched Cas slowly relax everyday they didn't hear from Michael. The first few weeks had been hell, Cas woke up almost every night from nightmares, whimpering and begging someone to stop. It had given Dean a panic attack the first time he was woken up suddenly in Cas’ bed, but he was able to calm himself down pretty quickly.

       School had been worse for Cas. Michael being a popular name, he heard at least one variation of it before lunch. Slowly but surely, he began to figure out he was safe, and someone yelling Mike didn't affect him as much.

 

       Dean and Cas were sitting on the couch watching a movie as it was the newly deemed “movie night”. It was Dean’s turn to pick and he had picked “The Breakfast Club”. Back when he was pretending to be straight, his excuse for enjoying the movie had been Molly Ringwald, when it was really Judd Nelson. Cas hadn't been thrilled with his choice, citing that he saw enough high school drama during the day but Dean had watched “The Grapes of Wrath” with him last week.

       The students were just getting into talking about what life was like at home when Dean’s phone rang. He groaned and lifted his hips to reach into his pocket to answer it while Cas hit pause.

       “Hello?...Hey Buddy!... you’re what?... Are you serious!?...That’s fucking awesome!...and you need a place to stay?... You can crash at my old apartment… You can’t be alone huh… well, we have a couch… I’ll pick you up in the morning! Dude that is so awesome!... Ok, I’ll see you tomorrow at 10ish… Bye Sammy.” Dean’s face had lit up after he got off the phone with Sam.

       “So…uh… Do you mind if Sam crashes here for a bit?” Dean asked, “He’s getting out tomorrow and one of the conditions of his discharge is that he can’t live alone.”

       “Of course Dean! That’s so awesome Sam’s getting out!” Cas looked just as happy as Dean did. Ever since the time Dean had dropped Cas off at the hospital to hang out with Sam, Cas had become close with him. “What is he going to do while we’re at work?”

       “I was going to see if Chuck would let him hang out with me. Granted he didn’t disrupt my class. Chuck should understand.” Their boss was one of the best principals and one of the best men Dean had ever met. The guy would bend over backwards to help anyone out.

        They settled back down on the couch to watch the rest of the movie with a new found happiness. Cas laid his head on Dean’s shoulder and tucked an arm around his stomach. Dean smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of Cas’ head. Neither of them could remember being this happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking around, school has been pretty busy as it's the end of term and I have a butt ton of stuff to do... But here it is!  
> Also thanks to its-more-of-an-overcoat for lending her grammar nazi-ness and proof reading for me :)


	14. Chapter 14

 

Dean pulled into the hospital parking lot and parked the Jetta. He had junked his Corolla last week and almost had the Impala on the road. In the meantime, he and Cas shared the Jetta.

Sam was in the lobby when Dean walked in. He hadn’t seen Sam in anything but baggy pajama pants or a hospital gown in months, it surprised him to see how skinny Sam had become. He was dressed in a pair of jeans, a dark green tee shirt and a red hoodie, leaning on the nurses station talking to Meg and Jess. Both of whom he had come to know quite well.

“Hey little bro!” Sam looked up and a smile spread across his face. Dean felt a sense of relief as he pulled Sam into a hug.

“Ready to go?” he asked as he let Sam out of his hug.

“Dean!” Jess called from the desk, “I need to go over the terms of Sam’s discharge and his medication.” Dean nodded. Anything to keep Sammy out of here.

“Ok, these are the drugs he has been on,” Jess said, and held up two orange prescription bottles. “These are Amisulpride, which control the hallucinations, and these are Zoloft, his antidepressants. Now, Amisulpride is taken once at night before bed. We found he doesn’t wake up having a hallucination if it’s taken at night. Zoloft is taken at night and in the morning. No driving after they have been taken together.” Dean nodded and glanced at Sam who was looking sheepishly at the floor. Dean kicked Sam’s foot, just to let him know he hadn’t forgotten about him.

“Also, he can’t be alone. If you don’t have anyone to hang out with him , where you and Cas both work, he can come here during the day. Obviously no alcohol or recreational drugs while on the medication.

“He won’t need to come here during the day,” Dean said with a lopsided grin, “The principal agreed to let him come hang out with me. You never know, he might learn something.” He elbowed Sam’s side as the floppy haired man blushed and smirked.

“Well, that’s all you need to know, guys! I’m going to miss you Sam…”

“Yeah Jess, I’ll miss you too.” Sam spoke softly. Dean could tell that Sam would actually miss Jess, and he felt pretty bad for him. Finding someone and then having to leave them? Not cool.

The two men walked out to the car and climbed in. Dean had the pill bottles in his jacket pocket.  They shook when he moved, reminding him gently of the responsibility he had again. Keeping Sammy safe. They talked about the move and how Dean and Cas hadn’t needed to get the bed from Dean’s old apartment and set it up in the corner of the living room. (We’d like our couch sometimes Sammy, it is Cas’ couch.)

Cas was working on a lesson plan for Monday at the kitchen table when the brothers walked in.

“Hello Sam” Cas said through his huge smile. Meeting Dean had given him not only a boyfriend, but also a very close friend in Sam.

“Hey Cas” Sam greeted back.

       Sam being there was a very welcome distraction from Cas’ lesson plan. His grade 12’s were starting Much Ado About Nothing which wasn’t Cas’ favorite Shakespearean comedy, (He preferred Twelfth Night) but, it was better planning out this than marking essays that the grade 9’s had written. They needed work.

       Dean leaned down and kissed Cas in a non-verbal hello.

       “I’m really happy for you guys, but can you not?” Sam groaned and covered his eyes.

       “Our place Sammy, our prerogative.” Dean smiled his lopsided grin. Sam glared and made a motion that he was going to vomit.

 

 

       The day passed quickly and before they knew it was almost 1 am. Dean reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out the bottle of pills.

       “So, Sammy…” Dean started, unsure of how to bring up this conversation. “Do you want me to hang on to these and give them to you at the right time? Or can you handle it?”

       “I think you better hang onto them for right now. The nurses came around and handed them out at the designated times, so I probably won’t remember for the first bit.”

       “OK, sounds good.” Dean was pleasantly surprised by Sam’s willingness to give up control to him. He had changed a lot since Afghanistan, and seemingly for the better. Sam took the pills and after about twenty minutes he was falling asleep. He said good night and got into the bed in the corner. Dean and Cas decided it was about time they went to bed too.

       “Sam seems to be doing better.” He said as he curled into Dean’s side.

       “Yeah, I just hope everything stays that way.” Dean said, running a hand up and down Cas’ side. It had been a good day and he wanted to make it better.

       “Dean, your brother is right outside the door…” Cas gasped as Dean ran a finger down his flaccid cock.

       “So? We can be quiet…” Dean whispered into Cas’ neck. Cas’ dick filled as Dean rolled over to kiss into his neck while sliding his hand under Cas’ red boxers to stroke his cock. Dean groaned as he felt Cas harden in his hand. His mouth watered at the thought of sliding down in between Cas’ legs, taking Cas into his mouth and sucking him off until he came.

       “God Cas… I love it when I feel you get hard.”

       Cas groaned in response and turned his head in order to search out Dean’s mouth with his own, kissing him frantically. His hand slipped down in Dean’s dark green boxers and ran a finger up the underside of Dean’s dick, causing it to twitch in anticipation. Dean rolled over to the bedside table and grabbed the lube. Cas looked at him.

       “You or me?” He asked.

       “I want you writhing and whimpering for my cock,” Dean replied with a smirk. “That answer your question?”

       Cas bit the side of his lip, cock giving a slight twitch and rolled onto his back. Dean slicked up a finger and crawled over to Cas. He kissed the man underneath him and slowly pushed his finger inside.

       “Nggggghh!” Cas moaned into Dean’s mouth as Dean circled and crooked his finger before pulling out and pushing another one inside. Cas was panting and mewling at the feel of Dean’s fingers.

Dean pulled out his fingers after deciding Cas was prepped sufficiently. Cas whined at the loss and Dean leaned down to press a chaste kiss to his lips with a chuckle. He sat back on his knees and slicked up his cock before settling between Cas’ legs once again. Cas’ eyes were navy with lust and he kept eye contact with Dean while Dean lined up and pushed in slowly.

       Cas groaned as Dean’s length pushed inside of him, eyes shut tight from the feeling of insane fullness.

       “You ok baby?” Dean asked, worried that Cas’ eyes were closed in pain.

       “Yes, Dean MOVE!” Cas growled louder than expected. Dean, in response clasped a hand down over Cas’ mouth while he began to thrust inside him. He could feel Cas’ breath on his palm as he panted. Dean went to take his hand away but Cas grabbed it and shook his head.

       “Really? Kinky.” Dean said in between thrusts. He kept his eyes trained on Cas’ blue ones, watching him come apart underneath him. Cas’ pants and moans soon became erratic and Dean could tell he was getting close. He went to take his hand away to jerk Cas off to bring him over the edge. Cas once again grabbed it and with a pained expression Dean felt Cas’ cock twitch and jerk between them as he came. Dean gasped ,the shock of being able to bring Cas to orgasm without touching him, brought him to his own cliff and unceremoniously booted him over. Cas ran his nails down Dean’s back as he came, giving a small amount of pain to the copious amounts of pleasure.

       Dean pulled out and flopped down next to Cas who had finally let Dean remove his hand.

       “Well we just figured out something you like…” Dean said sing-song like at Cas who blushed.

       “I guess we did.” Cas said sheepishly and rolled over to stand up. He grabbed his boxers and cleaned Dean and himself up before settling back into Dean’s side to go to sleep.

       “I really hope Sam didn’t hear us…” Dean murmured to himself before he too ,drifted off.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to Its-more-of-an-overcoat for proof reading for me, and another huge thanks to dwarvesinadress for researching drugs and giving me the hand kink ;) 
> 
> Give kudos if you like, and comment, makes me want to write more for you!


	15. Chapter 15

Dean awoke with a start. Cas was sound asleep with a leg slung over Dean’s thigh. Then he heard it again. The fuck? Sam was talking in his sleep. Dean slowly removed Cas’ leg from on top of him, got out of bed, grabbed his boxers from the floor and opened the door to the living room. The room was dark and he could barely see.

       “Sam?” He whispered into the darkness. A small whimper came back through the darkness.

       “Please... Please stop.” Sam’s hands were fisted into the sheets of his bed as he pleaded with whatever was causing his nightmare. Dean sat down on the edge of the bed, hoping the shift in weight would be enough to wake Sam up. Sam’s eyes sprung open, fists flying in every direction. Dean ducked out of the way of Sam’s fist and grabbed his arm.

       “Hey!” he whispered firmly, “Sam, Sam! It’s me!”

       “Dean?!”

       “Yeah bud, You’re ok. It was just a bad dream.”

       “I-I’m sorry. I was back there.” Sam mumbled and covered his face with his hands.

       “Sammy, It’s ok. I still get them sometimes.” Dean said.

       “You do?” Sam glanced at Dean from the corner of his eye.

       “Yeah... I have a rough time with sudden noises... I actually met Cas that way, a student’s phone went off in class and I lost it. Full on panic attack. Another student went and got him. It was the poor guy’s first day too.” Dean could hear the shame in his own  voice.

       “Is it because of where we were?” Sam asked.

       “Yeah.”

       “Is it because I was screaming...?” Sam asked cautiously, as if he didn’t want to know the answer.

       “No buddy, my therapist told me after, that it’s probably because of being so afraid when I heard anything. It-It was really dark... ya know?”

       “I just... I always figured if I could have gotten away... you wouldn’t have been looking for me and gotten taken yourself.” Sam said, looking away.

       “Don’t you dare blame yourself! You didn’t ask to be thrown from the vehicle, you didn’t ask to be tortured, you didn’t ask to be raped. You didn’t ask for any of this to happen.” Dean felt the tears prickling behind his eyes, and prayed the room was too dark for Sam to see.

       “I could hear you, ya know... I know what you said to them.” Sam blurted out. “I know you wouldn't let them break you. You are the best brother.”

       “I try Sammy... I try.” Dean said through a huge yawn.

       “Go back to bed.” Sam commanded.

       “Yes sir.” Dean said as he stood up and ruffled sam’s hair, “and sammy...”

       “Yeah?” Sam replied from under the covers.

       “...did you...hear anything earlier?” Dean asked, cringing in the dark.

       “Naw, I was out pretty good.”

       Dean smiled as he closed the door and climbed back into bed with Cas, who made a small noise in his throat at the sudden dip of the bed.

       “He ok?” Cas whispered, voice hoarse from the time spent asleep.

       “Yeah, he’s ok.”

       “You ok? I heard most of what you were talking about.”

       Dean felt the tears come back behind his eyes. He rolled onto his side and faced Cas while a tear dripped down the bridge of his nose and onto the pillow below him.

Was he ok? Would there ever be a time when he was ok? Deep down he knew he wasn’t. Deep down he knew what demons were inside him. What he had failed to do.

       “As much as I can be, after talking about what happened. I’m never ok but I can pass for sane.” Cas scoffed at Dean’s self-deprecation.

       “You remember what you told me the first time we met? Self-deprecation isn’t attractive. So stop. You went through hell and came out on the other side. You have demons, but you are not insane.” Cas lectured. Dean closed his eyes, and dropped his head into Cas’ chest, feeling the steady heartbeat against his scalp.

       “What did you tell them?” Cas asked softly, “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want...” Dean sighed and put his hand on Cas’ hip.

       “I told them that I didn’t care what they did to me, and that I would gladly take anything they did... because the more time they spent beating me, the less time they were hurting Sam.”

       Cas sighed. “Dean Winchester, you are the single bravest man I have ever met.”

       Dean scoffed. “You must be delusional.” He said, stifling a yawn. Dean pulled Cas into him, tucking Cas’s head underneath his chin. “But thanks.”

       Cas closed his eyes and nuzzled into Dean’s chest, listening as Dean’s breaths got slower and steadier. Then too, he drifted off into sleep.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

       Cas woke up earlier than either of the Winchesters. He enjoyed some alone time, even if it was just to shower before heading to work.

       After one of the longest, hottest, most relaxing showers of his life, he pulled a pair of sweatpants over his lean legs and went out to the kitchen to start the coffee maker. It was still pretty early and he didn’t actually need to be up this early, he just enjoyed the silence. Sitting down at the kitchen table, he looked at the arm he had cut the day Dean found him. The wounds were healing up nicely, but they would leave pretty large scars. It wasn’t that he wanted them to scar (they were a reminder of where he had been and what has happened to him), he just didn’t want Dean to have to see them every time his arms were bare. He didn’t want Dean to see how weak he really was.

       His thoughts were interrupted by Sam stretching and sitting up in bed. The taller man sat up in his bed and threw his legs over the side. He looked over at Cas who smiled at him.

       “Good morning Sam” Cas said quietly, so to not wake the remaining sleeping Winchester.

       “Morning Cas” Sam said through a huge yawn before making his way over to the kitchen table. “What time is it?” he asked, pouring himself a cup of the freshly brewed coffee.

       “Quarter after 6” Cas replied, getting himself a coffee. “Sleep ok?” he asked.

       “Not great...” Sam said softly. “Nightmare”

       “You’re ok now though... right?” Cas asked sincerely, sipping his black coffee.

       “Yeah... I’m ok right now”

       The pair sat drinking their coffee in comfortable silence. Dean soon joined them, reminded Sam to take his Zoloft and the three men got ready for the day. By 7:30 they had all piled into Cas’ Jetta and arrived at the school. Cas left Dean and Sam to get his own classroom ready for his first class, while Dean got Sam on ‘Watch for phone’ duty at the back of his class.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

       Michael paced in the corner of the warehouse his probation officer had gotten him a job at least. It was a mindless job. One he was very much above. Normally, he would just work his stupid shift, go back to the halfway house, then sneak passed the night guard to watch Castiel’s apartment. Learn his new habits and see when he came and went. He knew Castiel had gotten the gift he had sent, he was watching from across the street when his beautiful little brother picked up the gift. What he wasn’t expecting, was for Castiel to take his gift, the one he had poured his heart and soul into, to that neanderthal’s apartment. Dean he thought the man’s name was. It should be him with Castiel. It should be him with whom Castiel shared a life. It should be HIM. And it would be him. He would show Castiel, beautiful Castiel, the one who had him wrapped around his little finger, that they belonged together. That Castiel belonged to him!

        He only had to get Dean out of the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we have come to a crossroads. I can go one of two ways with this fic... Predictable, or not so predictable. We shall see.  
> Also, I want to get this finished by the end of my Christmas break (which is Jan 6th) so I will be posting more often hopefully!  
> Hope you guys are still enjoying this!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter came out of nowhere…
> 
> we are nearing the end of our journey, friends. There will be two more chapter after this.

        Cas walked out to the Jetta alone after the school day had ended.

Dean had become slightly more social since he had started dating Cas, so when Garth had invited him out to The Roadhouse for a beer, Dean had accepted. With a little pressure from Sam. Garth and Sam had hit it off immediately, so Sam would be tagging along and drinking coke.

       Cas opened the door to the Jetta and got in. He had a strange feeling about today for some reason. It wasn’t that he was going home by himself, Dean had friends in town other than his and Cas’ mutual ones from work. Granted it took a lot for him to make definite plans with them and actually follow through (usually with Cas promising to suck him off when he got home), but tonight was different. Slightly off.

       As he pulled out of the parking lot, he was on high alert for anything... strange. The drive home was uneventful, although he noticed more things than usual. The street light on the corner was out. The neighbors dog wasn’t out barking like he normally was. The silence was deafening and made the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

       Getting out of the car quickly, he half walked half jogged to the door and unlocked it. The kitchen was dark but his eyes slowly adjusted.

          

       There was a blinding flash of pain and the world went black.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

          

       The cab dropped Dean and Sam off at the apartment around 11pm. The Jetta was parked in the driveway, so the two men figured Cas had come home and would be in bed already.

       Dean fished his house keys from the pocket of his coat. If Cas had gone to bed, he would have locked the door. Dean turned the key and found the door unlocked. He shot a confused glance at Sam.

       “Maybe he’s still up? or he forgot to lock the door?” Sam shrugged.

       “Naw man, he usually goes to bed before this and he ALWAYS locks the door.”

       Dean pushed the door slowly open into the dark room, taking the few steps into the kitchen to get to the light switch.

       “Cas?” He called. No answer.

       “Dean” Sam said calmly. “I take it this isn’t usually here?” Sam held up the framed picture of Cas’ family.

       “No... That’s usually in the living room.” Dean took the picture from Sam and went to up it back on the book case where it usually stayed. There was a folded piece of paper where the photo normally sat. Dean’s blood ran cold as he read what the note said.

       ‘He’s mine, Dean.’

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

       Cas woke up tied to a chair. Fuck his head hurt. He opened his eyes and looked around the room. The room was small and dark, with windows up near the ceiling. So I’m underground he thought. How the hell did I get here? What the fuck is going on?!

       “Oh good! You’re awake!” A voice said from behind him. He knew that voice. It had plagued his nightmares for years.

       “Michael” Cas whispered.

       “I didn’t mean to hurt you” Michael said, as he came into Cas’ line of sight. “I just needed to get you to come with me... and I knew you wouldn’t come on your own accord. I just need to use you as bait for a while, then we can leave.” Michael said the last part with a huge smile. Cas felt his stomach churn. Bait? What?

       “Why do you need me for bait? Dean will find me long before you can hurt me again!” Cas screamed, tears brimming. He had gotten away! Michael had been in prison! Gabe and Luc said he couldn’t find him! But he did. He fucking did!

       “I’m counting on him coming to find you, Castiel. I need to get him out of the way so we can be together, like old times” Cas’ stomach lurched again, this time causing him to vomit on the floor beside him. Michael was going to use him to lure Dean down here.

       Michael rushed over to Cas’ side, a look of worry on his face. He reached behind Cas and rubbed his back. Cas tensed up and tried to pull away.

       “Don’t fucking touch me!” he spat.

       “Oh Cassie, you’ll be ok. Listen, I’m just going to go out and get us something to eat, I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He pressed a kiss to the top of Cas’ head and left Cas’ line of sight again.

       Cas heard the sound of a door close and the sound of an engine starting up. He looked around the room looking for something, anything to get him out of his restraints. He still had his phone in his pocket and if he could just see out one of the windows, he could call for help.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

       Dean was on the phone to the police when Sam spotted the rusted out Neon pull up outside the house.

       “Dean! There’s someone outside!” Sam yelled. The person sat across the street from the house. Just staring.

       Dean rushed over after putting the phone down, just long enough to catch a glimpse of the person in the car before they drove off.

       “Oh Fuck Sammy.” He growled. “I know who that is. This isn’t good Sam.”

       “Good thing I got the licence plate and the direction they were going” Sam said with a melancholy smile.

       The two brothers ran out to the Jetta and flew down the street after the car. It didn’t take long to spot the car as it slowly turned a corner and into the driveway of an abandoned house.

       Dean sat almost unable to breathe as Michael got out of the car and moved the unhinged door aside, slipping into the house. As Michael disappeared into the house, Dean was halfway out the door of the Jetta. Sam grabbed his arm.

       “SAM!” Dean whispered loudly, “What the fuck are you doing?”

       “We don’t know if this guy even has Cas. What if he’s just a creep who knows?!” Dean looked at Sam like he had three heads.

       “You don’t know who that is? Do you?” Dean asked, sitting back down in the car.

       “No, But you seem to!”

       “That’s Cas’ brother. That’s the one who raped him for years.” Dean said quietly.

       “Let’s go.”

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

       Cas heard the slide of something along one of the upstairs walls before Michael came back down the stairs empty handed.

       “Thought you were going out for food.” Cas asked. Maybe he should play it like this was all ok with him.

       “I lied.” Michael said flippantly. “I went out to show your hunky piece of manflesh you were here.”

       Cas felt all the blood drain from his face. No. No no no no no!

       “And you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to turn you around so that when your dear little Dean comes down those stairs, I’m going to empty the clip of this gun into his pretty head.” Michael pulled a 9mm handgun from his coat pocket, grinning like the fucking Joker.

       That’s when Cas started screaming

          

       ‘DON’T COME DOWN HERE DEAN!”

 

       “HE’S GOT A GUN!”

          

       “HE’S GOING TO KILL YOU!”

       Dean heard Cas screaming from the doorway of the house. The house looked like the typical abandoned house, debris everywhere, and filth from homeless people staying in it. Dean shuddered as he kicked a used needle out of his way. Cas’ screams were cut short by, what sounded like a hand over his mouth, followed by a yelp and the sound of a fist hitting someone’s face.

       Sam pushed Dean out of the way and went down the stairs to the basement first.

 

       Gunshot.

          

 

          “SAMMY!!”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of plot, the next chapter (also probably being posted today) will be epilogue.

   Dean was down the rotten stairs after Sam faster than his mind could process what was happening. Sam had collapsed at the bottom of the stairs and was putting pressure on the top of his left thigh. The blood gushed from between his fingers as he bled from the bullet wound.  
            Dean saw red and started after Michael with an inhuman scream.  
            “Ah ah ah!” Michael chided, “You’re not the one with the gun this time big guy!”    
            The smile on Michael’s face sent shivers up Dean’s spine as he stopped dead in his tracks, as the 9mm was pointed at his chest. He glanced at Cas, who was sitting, restrained in the wooden chair. Cas’ eyes pleaded with him to do something, to get them out of there in one piece!  
            The rise of panic Dean felt was slowly pushed down by the feeling of need to protect, that he hadn’t felt since he had found Sammy in Afghanistan. He had to keep cool. He had to keep his focus. Sam’s hurt, Cas is being held fucking captive by a crazy pedophilic psychopath with a gun. He’s the only one that can do anything. He held up his arms.  
            “I don’t have anything, I didn’t come here to hurt you. Just let Cas go and we will leave you alone.” Dean said, not believing a single word he said.  
            “That’s bullshit! You came here to take Castiel away from me! He doesn’t love you! How can he when I was his first everything? You’re just some broken nothing off the street!”  
            Logically, Dean knew that wasn’t true. But then again, Cas hadn’t told him he loved him. Could Cas really be as fucked up as Michael? No! He can’t be! They live together, Dean would know if something were off about Cas.  
            “See! Now you see it!” Michael said with the creepy smile of his, wandering over to the other side of the room, just beyond Sam, he continued spewing some bullshit about Cas loving him and only him.  So Dean took the opportunity to grab his pocketknife and free Cas.  
            “Stay still, like nothing happened.” Dean whispered in Cas’ ear. Cas nodded.  
            “You know that none of that is true Dean, I hate him.” Cas whispered back, not wanting to be heard by Michael.  
            “I know, baby. Don’t worry.” He didn’t know right now, but this was obviously not the time, nor situation for this discussion.  
            Michael returned, waving the gun around and reminiscing about all the things he had done to Cas as a child. Using them as convoluted proof that he and Cas belonged together.  
            “The first time we made love”, Michael whispered. “I know he was only seven, but he begged for it! Not with words mind you, but I could tell. The way he looked at me, the way he smiled, and I could tell it was for me.”  
            Cas vomited.  
            Michael ran over to comfort Cas, running his hand through his hair and whispering in his ear. Cas’ face contorting from all the rage he had kept pent up inside all these years.  
            “I never loved you! You hurt me for YEARS and then have the audacity to say I ASKED FOR IT?!” Cas screamed. His hands twitched in their pseudo bonds. Dean shook his head very slightly. Not yet Cas, he thought, not yet.  
            Michael turned to face Dean, eyes full of rage.  
            “You turned him against me! He loved me for YEARS, and then you turn him against me!”  
            Michael’s boot collided with Dean’s stomach, knocking the wind out of him.  
            “Go Cas!” He gasped, trying to pull in air. “Help Sam out!” If he couldn’t make it out alive, then the two people he loved most in the world would.  
            Cas sprung from the chair and ran to Sam, grabbing him under one arm and pulled him up the stairs.  
            Michael screamed inhumanly and started after them. Dean stuck out a leg and tripped him. He landed on the floor with an audible “oof”. The gun slid from Michael’s hand and out of his reach. Both men scrambled for it, and scuffled just before it.  
            Michael had Dean on his back, with two hands around his throat; not at all concerned by the punches Dean was landing on his sides.  
            “After I choke the fucking life from you, I’m going to go find that crazy brother of yours and do the same.” Dean began to panic, he couldn’t breathe. This was not the way he wanted to go!  
            “Like hell you will,” Cas’ voice said gravely from behind them. “You hurt me Michael. You showed me that I was only good as a fuck toy. You showed me that because you are popular and everyone loves you, you could get away with being an abusive, sick, son of a bitch and the person you abuse, torture and make feel like a waste of space will be the one who gets shunned. I made something out of myself after you went to prison. I became someone who can love, who can pass knowledge on to young people. I did that all because you were gone. I did all of that to show you I can be someone other than the poor youngest Novak who lost his parents. I did all of that in spite of you!” Tears streamed down Cas’ face.  
            “You don’t mean that!” Michael howled, grip slowly loosening on Dean’s throat.  
            “Don’t I?”  
            Cas fired a single shot.  
            Michael slumped over Dean as Dean gasped for breath.  
            “Cas!” He gasped, pushing the lifeless body off of him. And rushing over to where Cas had slid down the wall and was now was rocking back and forth.  
            “Is he dead, Dean? Did I kill him?”  
            “I think so.” Dean whispered from next to Cas. Cas sighed in relief.  
            “It’s over.” He said quietly into Dean’s shoulder before he started to sob.  
   
   
            Dean sat next to Sam’s hospital bed. Sam had needed surgery to repair the damage done by the bullet to the femoral artery. The surgeon had told them that he had only survived because he had pressure on it so soon. When Cas had gotten him up the stairs, he had taken Sam’s flannel shirt and tied it tightly around the wound. Cas had saved his life, and the doctors said he would make a full recovery.  
            Sam had only recently gotten out of surgery, and much to Dean’s chagrin, the doctors had decided to put him in the psychiatric ward. Mainly so if he had woken up and had an episode, they would be better equipped to deal with it.  
            Dean turned his head toward the door when he heard a small cough. He smiled when he saw Cas leaning against the door frame.  
            “Did the police talk to you?” Dean asked as Cas came over and sat in the other chair.  
            “Yes, they did. I told them everything. That he was my brother and had abused me ever since our parents had died. They looked up the file on the report from when I was fifteen to make sure everything matched up, and spoke to the neighbors from where he had me held. All the stories matched up and they declared it self-defense. I’m fine to go.”  
            Dean grabbed Cas out of the chair and pulled him into his lap.  
            “I love you Cas. I love you so much.”  
            “I love you too, Dean”  
            Dean beamed and pulled Cas down for a kiss. Cas loves him. Castiel James Novak loves him! He could die a happy man.  
            “Can you guys not do that here?” a sleepy voice croaked from the hospital bed. Sam peered at them through hooded eyes, obviously still feeling the effects of the anesthesia.  
            Dean looked at Sam warily, unsure of what he would be like. He had missed his meds due to the fact that he was shot. When Sam cracked a smile and grabbed Dean’s hand, Dean knew everything would be ok.  
  



	18. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here! Have some more happy!

“Well boy, I’ll be sad to see you go.” Bobby said as he clapped Dean on the back. They had just finished loading up the Impala (that Dean had finally finished restoring during the time he had off, due to the shit show with Cas’ brother, six months ago) with the last little bits from their apartment.  
            “I’m kind of bittersweet about it.” Dean said soulfully, after closing the trunk of the car. “On one hand I’m happy Cas feels comfortable enough to move back to where he’s from, but I’m not so hot on leaving you, Ellen, Jo and Sam back here.”  
            “Son, forty-five minutes away isn’t exactly leaving us behind. Ellen will be expecting you boys to be back here at least once every weekend. Sam can look after himself now! And now that he has Jess moving in here, it’s not like you’re abandoning him.”  
            “I know… It still sucks though.” Dean said, pouting.  
            Dean had been offered a job in a city just north of their current one. History Department head and much better medical benefits. How could he say no? Luckily, There had been an opening in the English department that Cas had applied for and gotten. So up they packed.              
            Finding someone to take over the lease from Fred and Lucy (Cas’ landlords upstairs) had been very easy. Sam had been taking leaps and bounds towards getting better now that he and Jess had become an item. She knew exactly what he needed when he had an episode (which are few and far between now) and he was head over heels for her. Dean couldn’t blame him, she was smoking!  
            “Thanks for the help Bobby” Dean said and pulled the older man into a quick hug.  
            “Can’t get rid of me that easy boy, Ellen has insisted you come to the bar for one last beer before you go.”  
            Dean agreed and jumped into the passenger’s side of Bobby’s truck. They chatted some more about Dean’s new job and where they would be living. (Cas had found a nice little house in a quiet neighborhood that was affordable on both of their new salaries.) When they finally pulled into the parking lot at the Roadhouse, Dean noticed that there was an unusual amount of cars in the lot. When he questioned Bobby on it, the older man just smirked and went inside.  
            Another car drove in the lot just as Dean was about to open the door. Cas stepped out of the Jetta (that was being given to Sam as they no longer needed a second car) and met him at the door.  
            “What are you doing here?” Cas asked, head cocked slightly to the side, giving him the look of a confused puppy.  
            “Bobby told me Ellen wanted me to come down and have one last beer before we left.”  
            “Jess called me and invited me for dinner before we left…” Cas said, squinting his eyes in confusion.  
            “Hmmm” Dean hummed as he pushed the door to the bar open, hand finding Cas’ before he did.  
            “SURPRISE!”  
            The lights flashed on and everyone jumped up to cheer. Sam, Jess, Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Garth and even Chuck had shown up to wish them well.  
            Cas smirked and looked up at Dean with knowing eyes.  
            “You knew about this didn’t you?” Dean asked Cas with pseudo anger.  
            “How do you think everyone knew to come at the right time? Plus if I left it to Jo, you would have known the day we started planning it!”  
            “Hey! I’m right here!” Jo called, coming over to punch Cas lovingly in the arm.  
            “It’s true!” Cas grinned. Jo mumbled her agreement and wandered off to help Ellen get everyone drinks.  
            Dean pulled Cas in for a hug and kissed him on the cheek.  
            “I love you,” he murmured.  
            “I love you too” Cas replied, standing on tiptoes to reach Dean’s lips and pressed a chaste kiss to them.  
            Sam stood up and towered over everyone, raising a glass of water to his lips.  
            “I hate to steal Dean and Cas’ thunder here, but Jess and I have an announcement,” Jess stood up, the top of her head barely reaching Sam’s chest. She held out her hand and showed off a small gold band and tiny diamond in the middle. Ellen squealed and rushed over, almost knocking over a pint of Alexander Keith’s that Chuck had asked for.  
            Dean clapped Sam on the back as he came over looking sheepish.  
            “I couldn’t get a bigger ring, but my disability check doesn’t go far.” Sam explained.  
            “I don’t think she minds” Dean said, looking over at Jess who was beaming and seemed to be telling the story of how Sam proposed.  
            “You’ll be my best man, won’t you?” Sam asked.  
            “Of course! Who else would you ask?” Dean answered with a smirk.  
            “That’s true.”  
            A few hours and a couple beers for Dean, it was time to hit the road. Cas and Jess had driven to the apartment to get the Impala (which Cas would be driving thank you very much) and it now sat outside in the lot.  
            Lots of hugs were shared; as well as some tears shed. When the couple finally got into the car and drove off, Dean took Cas’ hand.  
            “Hey Cas?”  
            “Yeah?”  
            “Do you wanna get married?”  
            Cas looked at Dean with love in his blue, blue eyes.  
            “Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a bunch for reading, I like to think I have grown a BUNCH from when I started this fic :) But anyway, It's done, and I can look back and see my growth :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So this is my first attempt at writing something like this... So bear with me if It's horrible...  
> Also, If you wish to follow me on Tumblr, My name is the same as my name here, somethingaboutmisha :D  
> Thank you for reading and I hope to have some feedback! weather it's positive or negative, I just ask that you be nice :) (which I am sure you all will be!)


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